They Say Fortune is a Wheel
by LuvaGoodMrE
Summary: AU.  Seriously, AU.  Loki is a gentleman – well, most of the time.  Darcy is a hot mess.  Somehow, they make it work.  A quasi-love story about scones, chemistry and pencil skirts.  But mostly scones.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: AU. Seriously, AU. Loki is a gentleman – well, most of the time. Darcy is a hot mess. Somehow, they make it work. A quasi-love story about scones, chemistry and pencil skirts. But mostly scones.

A/N: I've been reading fanfiction for _way_ too long. But actually writing it? Nope. However, a friend (the only one who knows of my fanfiction obsession because she too suffers from the same affliction) mocked me for liking AU stories. I argued that all fanfiction is technically AU – that's why it's fan_fiction_. Alas, she didn't agree with me. And eventually a challenge was issued to write an AU that she would like. As she's currently obsessed with Loki, I knew what had to be done. As for why I'm making it Loki/Darcy, that's strictly my own appreciation of Kat Dennings and anger over her being given such a crap role – seriously, she's the useless heroine's useless sidekick. Lame. Anyway, I tried damn hard to keep this at least somewhere in the realm of in-character (or at least beginning-of-the-movie character, where Thor was an arrogant ass and Loki was mischievous but not really _evil_ – feel free to fight me on that). But, since there are no gods or frost giants – liberties are obviously taken. Strong ones.

Disclaimer: Are these really necessary? I obviously don't own anything pertinent. I should study copyright law.

Rated M for serious potty-mouth and probable sexy-times.

* * *

><p>Loki's voice, bitter and angry, cut through the silence of the room.<p>

"How can you pretend to not know what I'm talking about? I loved Sif before I even _liked _girls. And she worshipped you and you didn't bloody care! No, not until she agreed to go out with me. Then you wanted her. You had to have her. You just _had_ to. And she stood me up to go lose her virginity to you upstairs at a party where everyone knew and laughed and made her feel like a fool – a cheap fool. She was _fifteen_, Thor. And you broke her so badly that she had to move. You broke her heart and you ruined her reputation beyond repair – and you never cared at all. Two days later you were flirting with her little blonde friend. If I remember correctly, you slept with her too."

He paused to take a breath, "So, no Thor. I haven't forgiven you yet. Not for Sif, not for Jane, and not for everyone else who you discarded without remorse."

"Loki," Thor tried to cut in.

"Thor," he mocked. "Seriously, brother – go fuck yourself."

Loki started to turn away, but paused to throw over his shoulder, "And if you even think about touching Darcy…I'll kill you." He was serious. Thor's arm froze midway in its path to reach out to his brother.

They stared at each other for a moment, both wondering how it came to this. Then Loki pivoted and walked away without looking back. Thor let him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Eleven months earlier…**

Darcy wasn't sure what to make of Jane's boyfriend.

She loved the name – _Loki_ – that was pretty boss. And she had to admit that he was kinda cute. His voice was soft and deep and he spoke with a vaguely British accent, like something out of a BBC period piece. He always wore nicely tailored clothes that looked like they cost more than anything she owned and was always a perfect gentleman, holding doors and being way too polite.

But there was just something _off_ about him. Especially in the way he smiled. There was a hint of mischief in his smile, as if he was mocking you in his head while his mouth spouted flattery. Like maybe he was only acting the part of a gentleman.

His ridiculously proper table etiquette aside, she would bet her left boob that he was _reeeallly_ kinky in bed. And her left one was the good one, so she meant it.

Still, regardless of his potential naughty caramel center – he brought her coffee (the good stuff from an actual coffee shop and not the cafeteria) and so he was cool in her book. Plus, he was totally smitten with Jane. And since Darcy – for the most part – liked Jane (liked the job Jane gave her), Loki was just fine with her.

Which was why Darcy got worried when Jane came in with a seriously unsettled look on her face the Monday after going to meet Loki's family for the first time.

"Hey, boss lady. How was meeting the in-laws?"

"Good! Really, really good!" Jane's voice was chipper – actually freaking _chipper_. It was too early for this.

"Good is good, I guess. Did they seem to like you?" She couldn't really imagine them not liking Jane – beautiful, brilliant, sweet Jane. She was like a parent's wet dream.

"Yes, I think so. They were _very_ welcoming." There was something in the emphasis on 'very' that set off alarm bells in Darcy's head.

"Welcoming is good-good, too." Hmm…how to approach this? "Traditional turkey? Or did they buck tradition and make Thanksgiving enchiladas?"

"No, it was traditional right down to the cranberry sauce. Which was amazing. I was glad I wore a dress. Unbuttoning my pants at the dinner table wasn't really the impression I was going for."

"Personally, I would have taken that as a compliment. And I'm sure Loki never minds when you unbutton your pants." Jane gave her a vaguely disapproving look. Whatever. "Was it just him and his parents?"

Jane immediately broke eye contact and started flipping through a file. Bingo. "No, his brother was there, too." Oh shit. Seriously? Weren't they too old to be reenacting high school drama?

"His brother?" She pretended to think. "Oh, yeah! Thor, right? His parents must be seriously into Norse mythology. Or just plain crazy. Probably both. _Thor_. Nice. At least Loki sounds…I don't know, exotic, maybe?"

Eye contact reestablished. "Thor's a perfectly fine name, _Darcy_." Ok, that was uncalled for. Not everyone could have the single most generic female name in the history of all names. But there was a tone in Jane's voice, in the knee-jerk reaction of her defending Loki's big bro, that made the dots she was connecting in her head start forming a picture. And it wasn't a pretty one.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. So, tell me about the family. I'm picturing the Kennedys. Was I close?"

Jane laughed, tension easing, "Not that far off. Their house was – it wasn't even a house so much as a castle. We had to get buzzed in at the gate just to get into the driveway. And I'm pretty sure it was a real Dali hanging in the foyer."

Yeah, that tracked – Loki looked like a man who grew up with a silver spoon stuck up his ass. Not that he was arrogant (ok, maybe a little), but he commanded attention as if that was just the natural state of things. Darcy supposed this made her a little jealous. Whatever. So her look practically sang "starving college student". It wasn't like every time she went into stores the salespeople pulled a Pretty Woman on her.

"Sounds swanky. Were Mom and Pops cool?" Ease her into it. Patience was a virtue.

"Yeah, they were nice. His father was…intense, I suppose. But friendly. And his mom was a gem." A gem? _Really_? Only Jane and her Bambi eyes could get away with saying things like that.

"That's cool. How about the definitely-_not_- tragically named brother?" Look how casual she was – damn, she was good.

"Oh, he was…very nice. He really went out of his way to make me feel comfortable." Yeah, I'll bet.

Alright, no time to play coy. Jane knew Darcy was single and looking – this was totally innocent. "Sounds promising. Is he single? Yummy?"

Jane blushed. Shit. Poor Loki. "I'm pretty sure he's single." Yeah, Darcy was pretty sure too. "And he's…attractive."

"That's it? That's all you're gonna give me? C'mon! Loki's a fine piece of man meat, his brother's probably more than _attractive_. Details woman! You're a scientist – it's all about the details!"

Still blushing. Still not looking her in the eye. "Well, he actually doesn't look anything like Loki. He's taller." Taller than _Loki_? Seriously? He must be a giant. "And he's really rather…muscular." Oh. Amending the image. A taller, buffer Loki. Weird. "His coloring is different, too. He's very blond." A tall, buff, _blond_ Loki = does not compute.

"Huh. Was one of them adopted?"

"Oh! No, I don't think so. Thor seems to favor his father. And Loki has more of his mother in him." She guessed that was plausible.

"So, Loki's brother is a big, blond stud? Nice." Or not.

"I didn't really notice how he looked. I was just so glad that he seemed to want me to feel comfortable. That was a nice thing to do for his brother." Sure it was. Call her cynical, but this smacked of the Young and the Restless. But she could be wrong – she very often was. Like when she thought her last boyfriend wasn't an asshole – wrong. Or that she would look good as a blonde – very wrong. Or that paying a credit card bill with another credit card was a good idea – so, so wrong. And since when did potential landlords pull your credit score? That seemed completely unnecessary. Digressing. Focus, Darcy!

"Well, good. I'm glad it went well. Meeting the family? That's a big step. And Loki is totally crazy about you." She smiled at Jane, willing her to feel at least a little guilty for lusting after the _brother_ of the guy who treated Jane the way Darcy dreamed a guy would one day treat her. Not that there was anything wrong with lusting after people you weren't supposed to. Lust was good – great, even. And it logically makes sense to be attracted to the closest biological link to the guy you were actually in a relationship with. But, it was the way Jane was acting about all this. Jane wasn't so prude that she wouldn't admit to thinking a random guy is magically delicious – they'd each waxed poetic about some of the finer looking men in the building. But, denial – not a good sign. Darcy had taken Intro to Psych.

"Did I hear my name?" Oh shit, speak of the devil! There was the shorter, less buff, definitely _not_ blond brother himself. His head cleared the doorframe, but not by much. How the hell could Thor be taller? And he was holding a tray with two coffees _and_ a paper bag with the coffee house logo on it. Sweet! Please be a scone, please be a scone.

"You sure did, dude. We were just discussing how awesome you are. And how much we both really wanted coffee. And look at that! That wouldn't happen to be two cups of coffee in your hand there, would it? Life is full of the strangest coincidences."

He smiled at her so genuinely that Darcy just wanted to jump up and give him a hug and tell him his girlfriend was having possibly-more-than-lusty thoughts about his brother. But, she loved her job (and the credits she was getting for said job), so the word of the day was going to have to be mum.

"Strange indeed." He handed her one of the cups. "A caramel macchiato with extra whipped cream for the lady." Score!

"You are a god among men." Oh, yeah. This was the stuff. Delicious candy-coffee beverage of goodness.

"I do try. There's also a raspberry scone in the bag for you." Double score!

"Correction. You are more than a god. They've yet to find a category awesome enough for you." If Jane fucked this up, Darcy was gonna be sooooo pissed.

"Well, now my ego has been sufficiently stroked." He turned to Jane. "A skim vanilla latte for you, my love. And a nonfat blueberry muffin." He handed the rest of the goodies to Jane, who smiled and thanked him with a quick kiss.

"Well, ladies, I don't want to interrupt your brilliant minds at work. Enjoy the sustenance." See, there was the smile – equal parts naughty and sincere. He turned back to Jane. "I'll call you later." She nodded and he was gone.

As Darcy bit into her tasty treat (things always taste better when you didn't have to pay for them), she hoped she was wrong about this whole Thor thing. She really, really did.


	3. Chapter 3

While he'd always been a smooth-talker, Loki had never been particularly good with women. He didn't believe it was really his fault. How was he supposed to compete with his brother – his _older_ brother who everyone already knew and worshipped like some sort of god? Objectively, he understood why people were so attracted to Thor – he was handsome, athletic, charming when he wanted to be, and the son of a man whose net worth was more than the rest of the town combined.

Loki was an afterthought – not quite as handsome, not quite as athletic, not quite as charming, and though he was wealthy, everyone knew that _Loki_ wasn't the son being groomed to take over the family business. It rankled, coming in second in literally everything. Especially because, with Thor, everything was a competition.

Still, Loki loved his brother – truly loved him. Family had always been and would always be the most important thing in Loki's life. And he knew Thor loved him too - that he would give him the shirt off his back at the first sign of a shiver. It was what made it so damn hard for Loki. He truly wanted to hate him – Thor deserved (hell, he needed) someone to hate him. But Loki just didn't have it in him to try to maintain the darker emotions his brother brought out in him. Loki knew that if he couldn't muster up the energy to hate Thor after the Sif debacle, he would likely never be able to do so.

Suffice it to say, teenage Loki was a bit unskilled with women. Going away to college (several states away from both his parents and his brother) helped him come into his own. He'd had a few girlfriends. One was even serious enough to bring back home over Spring Break to meet the family. He had wanted to impress her with his home and his life – but she was infinitely more impressed by his brother. She never admitted to sleeping with Thor, and Thor certainly never brought it up, but she broke up with him less than a week after they got back without much of an explanation. Though she was probably right when she told him they both wanted different things – especially if what she wanted was his brother.

But Loki was a man who learned from his mistakes. He never brought home another woman – not that there were many opportunities to do so. He wasn't one for casual dating. He liked to first develop a common interest, a friendship. It was easier that way. He hated the pretense of a first date. He didn't like having to wait until the third or fourth date to truly start learning anything honest about the person he was with. It was easier if he knew them first in a non-romantic capacity.

That's why, after seeing the pretty, new astrophysicist at the faculty mixer, he went out of his way to strike up a conversation. He kept it casual – only the faintest flirting – and later met with her and a few others for a bit of wine and conversation. He then waited two months, in which time he'd decided that she was serious about her work, unfailingly kind, and genuinely interested in him. When he finally asked her out, she accepted with just enough eagerness to make him feel flattered. And from there it was all very simple.

He was pretty sure that Jane was a woman he could spend the rest of his life with – they had common interests, friends, and goals - so he knew that one day she would have to meet his family. But he held off as long as he could without seeming rude – he didn't want her to think he was embarrassed of her (as if one could be embarrassed of a beautiful, intelligent, successful woman). They were closing in on the one-year mark when she brought it up. It was the beginning of November and they were planning for Thanksgiving. It only made sense that she return home with him to meet his family. He wasn't even that nervous about her meeting Thor. He knew his brother, and so he knew that Thor would be insufferable. But, he trusted Jane. She was a serious woman who wasn't going to be swayed by his brother's biceps. It wasn't some trivial college romance this time. They were two adults building a life together. And if all went well at his parents' house, he would go out and buy the ring he'd been eying for a few weeks.

And it did seem to go well. Thor was as tactless as usual, but his parents were both impressed by Jane. She seemed to humor Thor even when he was obviously making her uncomfortable, which Loki really appreciated. He thought that she was wonderful for putting up with his idiot brother so gracefully just to please him.

So he went out and bought that ring. And he waited for the right moment. But almost a month later, it still hadn't arrived. Jane had been busy, working late and constantly stressed. He tried to be patient and sympathetic – her job was so important to her and he knew what it was like to feel frustrated.

When he was finally able to pin down a firm dinner date with her, he made reservations at her favorite restaurant and prepared himself to take the next step. He was thirty and Jane had all the qualities he'd been looking for in a woman. It was time.


	4. Chapter 4

Darcy consciously tried not to notice how odd her boss was acting lately. She really did. But she couldn't pretend everything was ok anymore when she got to Jane's office one morning and found it locked. Jane was never late and never called out sick. And the one time she had to take a day off to go to some sort of conference, she had told Darcy weeks in advance.

Darcy tried calling Jane but it went straight to voicemail. Well, she figured everyone deserved to sleep in once in a while, so she plopped down in a chair across the hall and waited. And waited. And was just about to go find Loki's office in the chemistry department and make sure her boss wasn't actually lying in a ditch somewhere, when Jane appeared at the end of the hallway.

The second she caught sight of her, Darcy immediately started bracing herself. Jane was pale and disheveled, her eyes visibly red even from a distance. She was holding herself as if she were about to break into a million pieces. Oh god. Not good. And Darcy had been having a decent morning.

Jane didn't look at her or apologize for being late or acknowledge her presence in any way. She just walked to the door, unlocked it and walked in. Steeling herself, Darcy took a deep breath and followed her. Jane's voice, somewhat raspy and uneven, rang out before she could even close the door.

"I told him." _What?_ "I mean, he asked me to marry him so I had to. Can you believe he asked me to _marry_ him?" If she was talking about Loki, then yeah she could believe it. That guy was in serious smit with her – proposing wasn't exactly a taboo practice in such situations. Darcy was obviously missing something.

"I'm going to assume that Loki proposed." Jane looked at her like she was an idiot. Great. "And apparently your reaction was to start sobbing, why?"

"Because I had to tell him about-," she cut herself off and walked back to the door. Darcy thought for a moment that she was just going to leave, but instead she locked the door and then leaned her back against it gingerly. "I had to tell him about Thor."

Fuck. She really hated being right. Play dumb, Darce. "Thor? Loki's brother? What about him?"

"I've been…we've been…we didn't mean to hurt him. Sometimes there's just this connection that happens between people whether you want it to or not. He teaches chemistry, he should understand!" Well, as Grandpa Lewis used to say, that made about as much sense as a screen door on a submarine.

"Jane? Boss lady? Are you saying you cheated on Loki with his _brother_?" Yes, yes that was exactly what she was saying. But Darcy just needed to hear it out loud.

"Oh god! Oh _god_! It sounds so bad when you say it like that." Well, she couldn't really think of a nice way to say something like that. It was a pretty heartless thing to do. And tacky.

"Sorry. I'm just trying to understand. So…you're having an affair with Thor. And Loki proposed. So you said, 'Sorry, no, I can't marry you because I'm sleeping with your brother'?" That conversation must have gone over well.

"No, I couldn't! We were in a restaurant and he was on his knee and everyone was looking at us, so I said yes!" What! Hold on un minuto, por favor. "Then I asked if we could leave and we did and he was so happy and I started crying and he was so confused and I told him that I couldn't marry him because I had feelings for someone else and that I had been with him and I was sorry and he just looked at me and asked me if it was Thor and I don't know how he knew but he was so calm and-and-and collected and I was just so upset and it was horrible and-" Darcy had to cut her off before she passed out from oxygen deprivation.

"Jane! Hold on, ok. Let me get this straight. Loki proposed – presumably somewhere in public – and you were too embarrassed or something to say no, so you told him yes. Then, after you told him yes, you tell him no and that you're sleeping with his bro. And for some reason, he took it like a boss – cool as a very cool cucumber?"

Jane just nodded. Well, how exactly was she supposed to respond to this? Her gut instinct said to punch Jane in the boob. Hard. Darcy genuinely _liked_ Loki. Chemistry or not, he didn't deserve to be cheated on by his slutbag ho of a girlfriend with his sleazy douche of a brother. However, Jane was still her boss. And she still liked her job and her credit hours and her relatively bright future. This was a moral pickle. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't take the high road. Damn.

She filled her face with the most sincere sympathy she could muster (not very authentic). "Oh, Jane. You poor baby. I'm _so_ sorry." Maybe she was laying it on thick, but it worked as Jane launched herself into Darcy and wrapped her arms around her like a creeper vine. Awesome. It was a banner day when your boss literally cries herself into a stupor on your new sweater. She internally sighed and put her arms around Jane's shoulders, settling in and resigning herself to her fate. "There-there. It's going to be ok. Shh."

Darcy was trying to figure out how to tactfully reach the tissues (tears were one thing, but she was _not_ getting snot on her new sweater) when Jane pulled back. As a self-conscious girl forced to spend way too much time locked in a little office with her stupidly attractive boss, Darcy took a sadistic sort of pleasure in noticing what an ugly crier Jane was. Splotchy and red and, yup, there was snot. Good.

"And it's going to be so awkward now!" Jane burst out, panting. "I mean, I'll be dating his brother. His parents are going to hate me." Wow. That was a curveball. She was actually going to _date_ Thor. Darcy couldn't figure out if that made it better or worse. Probably worse – she wasn't in a charitable mood.

"Shh, Jane it'll be ok. Life can be awkward. You'll get through this. Loki is a really decent guy." Understatement, bitch. "He'll understand." Gandhi couldn't understand, you cow.

"Do you think so?" She sounded so hopeful.

"Of course!" Yes, Jane, there is a Santa Clause.

"Thanks, Darcy." I aim to please, boss lady. Don't fire me. "I think I really needed to hear that." Sigh…whatever. Darcy almost started crying herself – this meant no more delicious coffee and scones. She really hated being right.


	5. Chapter 5

Four days later and - outward expressions of sympathy aside - Darcy was still Team Loki. 'Sisters before misters' was all well and good, but you can't side with the cheater as a rule. And Loki had been awesome to Jane. It boggled Darcy's mind how she could fuck that up. Yeah, Thor's body looked like he'd been photoshopped by an amateur – Jane showed her a picture on her camera phone of him shirtless in a doorway…très classy – but she still didn't get it. And what Jane told her about Thor made her even more bewildered. Though she'd couched it in nice terms, it seemed that Thor was a bit of an idiot. A pretty idiot, but still an idiot. What did Jane see in him other than the very painfully, embarrassingly obvious?

Darcy almost fell out of her chair (she really shouldn't lean back so far) when Loki suddenly appeared at the door holding two cups of coffee and a familiar paper bag.

What?

The?

Hell?

Jane had her back turned and hadn't caught sight of him, but she visibly froze when his voice rang out.

"Hello, Darcy. You look lovely today – blue is definitely your color. I have your macchiato but I'm afraid they were all out of raspberry scones today. I opted for cranberry. I hope that's alright. The other option was poppy seed and I find that a more divisive flavor." What? Well, from now on she would always wear blue - but _what_?

"Umm…thanks. Cranberry is good. You never know when they're gonna surprise you with a random drug test." She wasn't sure that even _she_ knew what she was talking about, but Loki just smiled and nodded.

Oh, shit. That _smile_. Normally equal parts naughty and nice – today it was hella naughty. She had a feeling she was about to witness some sort of revenge. And judging by the oddly cold glimmer in his eyes, it was gonna be ugly. Sweet! She got to be the fly on the wall.

"Loki?" Jane's voice was uneven. "What-what are you doing here?"

His smile never faltered even as he affected a look of confusion. "Bringing coffee. Obviously. And I wanted to apologize for my behavior the other night." _Whaaaat?_

He continued, "I should have handled that more maturely. The cold shoulder routine is quite juvenile." He shook his head in a self-deprecating manner. "It wasn't even all that surprising. I mean, it's not like I haven't been in that exact situation before. I should be able to control myself better by now." Ohh….shit. Darcy saw exactly where this was going. After the pitifully short guilty stage, Jane had been all girlish giggles and starstruck eyes over Thor - and now Loki was going to tear that shit up. He was being a cold-hearted bastard of vengeance. But, she supposed he'd earned the right.

He had put out the bait and was waiting, far more patiently than Darcy, for Jane to take it. Finally, and with a look of vague nausea, she did. "This _exact_ situation?" Yup, she totally took the bait.

He continued with a manner of such casualness that Darcy wanted to get out her phone so she could record it and send this shit into the Academy. Or put it on YouTube. "Well, not this _exact_ situation. I must admit you were the first woman I've proposed to. But, otherwise…" His voice trailed off and Darcy found herself holding her breath to see Jane's reaction. She didn't disappoint.

"You mean Thor's…he's…done this before?" Jane's voice was stilted. So _this_ was what waiting on tenterhooks felt like.

"Oh, yes. Many times. I thought if I waited long enough and that I was completely certain you couldn't be swayed, it would be alright. Fool me once, shame on you – fool me…damn, 5…6, maybe…however many times, shame on me." His face was pure innocence. "Oh, don't look so distressed Jane. I'm not angry with you, I promise. I completely understand. Thor – god love him – is painfully predictable. But since he's already moved on to the next conquest, I think we should follow suit and simply put this all behind us."

Jane was pale and shaking her head in an odd way. "His next _conquest_?"

Loki's brow furrowed in contrition. "Oh, Jane. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything about _you_. I assumed you understood Thor going in. It's become something of his modus operandi. However, I assure you that you are by far his most impressive achievement. Trust me." His voice was earnest, "I've spoken with her and judging by the incoherence of the inebriated babble that I was forced to decipher when I attempted to call my brother last night, she doesn't hold a candle to you. Intellectually, at least. I believe she mentioned something about working at a frozen yogurt shop – which is a perfectly respectable profession – but it certainly doesn't require a degree is astrophysics." His smile was kind but his eyes were hard. Jane looked broken.

He continued on as if oblivious, "And I hope we can remain friends. You have such excellent taste in literature and I would appreciate if you would still send me recommendations. Via e-mail perhaps, if you prefer? " Oh, he was the man. This was brutally cold. And awesome.

He suddenly looked at Darcy, pausing for a moment to study her expression. She knew her poker face wasn't as good as his, so he could probably see that she was silently cheering him on with the facial equivalent of a fist-bump. His smile quirked into something a touch more genuine. "And I must make sure Miss Lewis is properly caffeinated. I've seen her in the mornings and I fear for public safety." True. And possibly amazing. Maybe she would still get delicious coffee-sconey treats! Free!

"He didn't…? Loki, I-" Jane broke off and visibly had to compose herself. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea. But, look, I'm glad you're…ok. Thank you, I guess. I just…do you mind if I want, well, _need_ some space?" Well, that was coherent. Loki's face turned sad and sympathetic.

"Yes, of course. Again I apologize. I didn't mean to cause you additional distress, but I fear that may have been the result. I'll be going now. Feel free to contact me any time, Jane." He glanced at Darcy. "Farewell, Darcy." Then he turned and walked out the door, leaving it open behind him. Jane immediately spun back around to silently face the blackboard, her body rigid.

"I'm just gonna close this," Darcy said pointlessly gesturing to the door. Jane didn't look or respond. Darcy walked over and started to close the door before she caught sight of Loki's reflection in the glass mid-swing. She paused and stuck her head out. He was standing a few feet away and staring straight at her. Darcy threw a quick look over her shoulder, but Jane was still dead to the world. Meeting Loki's eyes, she winked and mouthed 'well-played'. His answering smile was kinda terrifying. She was so freaking right - that man had more layers than lasagna. He nodded and turned sharply on his heel. She watched him walk away without turning back. If she'd known that she wouldn't see him again for months upon months, she would have at least said goodbye.


	6. Chapter 6

**Three weeks later…**

Dinner at his parents' house was usually a nice affair. However – for obvious reasons – this time wasn't so pleasant for Loki. His brother's tentative smile when he first arrived made his own jaw clench. Only his mother's presence saved Thor from a barrage of vitriol.

During the meal, Thor had tried to engage him in conversation, but eventually gave up after receiving nothing but icy, brief responses. His parents had picked up on the tension and Loki could see the debate going on in their heads about whether or not to ask what was wrong. They seemed to mutually come to the decision to leave it alone. His mother turned to Loki and asked what she must have assumed was an innocuous question.

"How's Jane doing, dear?"

Loki's shoulders tensed involuntarily for a moment before he could compose himself. From the corner of his eye, he saw Thor freeze with his glass mid-way to his lips. His mother seemed to realize that she'd said something wrong and made an odd humming noise. Before she could redirect, Loki answered, "I wouldn't really know. We haven't spoken in a few weeks."

"Oh. Oh, dear. I'm sorry. She was such a lovely girl. I hope it wasn't too hard on you." His mother's voice was so sympathetic and caring that it made Loki want to lash out for some reason.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he replied just a shade too flippantly, "Oh, yes. It's quite alright. Just the usual story. I proposed. She tells me she's fucking Thor. We break up. Other than the ring, it was pretty much a variation on the same." Thor's glass made a loud thud against the wood of the table, but Loki didn't pause. "Three times is called a hat trick, right? You know that I can never remember sports terminology. But I might as well congratulate him on his consistency. I guess he can't help it that his dick is a compass and every woman is north."

Silence descended. Loki immediately wanted to pull the words back into his mouth. He knew that his parents were aware of what had happened between Thor and some of Loki's previous ladyloves – and he knew they would eventually find out about Jane – but he could have been a bit more tactful.

He sighed and absently ran a hand through his hair. A quick glance around showed that Thor was staring at his plate with a desperate focus while his father was staring at Thor with a quickly rising anger. Loki didn't want to stick around to see the fallout. Shifting his eyes back to his mother, he could see her alternating her gaze from son to son and from disappointment to pity. He didn't want pity – not even from his own mother.

Feeling annoyed with himself, Loki continued in a more sincere tone, "I apologize for the language, Mother. It's been a long week. I'm not feeling particularly hungry at the moment. I think I'm just going to box up some dinner for later and head home now."

His mother began nodding rapidly, "Yes, yes, of course dear. Take whatever you'd like. We'll catch up later."

Loki stood up, grabbed his plate, and headed toward the kitchen. He didn't chance another look at either of the men left at the table. Dropping a kiss on his mother's forehead as he passed, he threw a soft farewell over his shoulder. "Goodbye, Mother. Father." A slight pause. "Thor."

Once again Loki didn't look back at the chaos left in his wake. He was getting good at that.


	7. Chapter 7

Darcy hadn't seen Loki in over seven months. While she'd been working for Jane, she found herself thinking about him occasionally. She missed the coffee (and the scones!) and she guessed she kinda missed _him_, too. He was a mystery – and Darcy loved a good mystery. But, since her final semester (and therefore her job) had ended several weeks ago, she had to admit that Loki had almost completely slipped her mind by the time she actually saw him again.

She had been having a really crappy day and craving a decent cup of coffee, so she'd decided to splurge on the $5 macchiato that she hadn't indulged in since the Thor fiasco. Sitting at a table in the corner, people-watching and daydreaming, she jumped and nearly choked on her caramel-deliciousness when a plate plopped down in front of her.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." She knew that voice.

Confused, Darcy looked from the plate to the hand still holding the plate and followed it upwards until she got to Loki's face. What?

"You looked hungry." Again, _what_?

She finally got her head on straight and looked back down to the plate he had put in front of her. Raspberry scone. He bought her a raspberry scone! Stupid fucking Jane! She put down her coffee hastily and darted up, startling him. Before he could step back to give her some room, she wrapped her arms around his waist (it would have been too difficult to go for the shoulders with his nominal giant status). She felt him freeze and realized somewhat belatedly that, all things considered, they hadn't really reached the hug-it-out point in their relationship.

Whatever. He bought her a scone! The first one she'd had in months! She pulled back just enough to look him in his (rather startled) eyes. Had they always been so green? Granted, she'd never been this close to them before.

"Thank you," she practically whispered. Her tone was perhaps a touch too serious, but it was genuine. He couldn't possibly have known how bad her day had been and that she had stared longingly at the scone before deciding that she could only afford one thing and the world was a safer place when she was caffeinated.

Loki simply looked at her as if he wasn't quite sure what to do with her. Finally, he quirked a smile and shook his head, wrapping one arm around her back and giving it a little pat.

"You're quite welcome," he replied. His voice was overly solemn, but his eyes danced a bit.

Darcy realized that he looked good – happy. It jarred a bit with the vicious smile that had been on his face the last time she'd seen him. This was much better and Darcy felt strangely relieved. She hadn't realized how much she cared about Loki's wellbeing since Jane went all Jerry Springer on him. Huh.

Whipping out her widest grin, she asked, "Care to join me, kind sir?"

"Sure. But it could be a bit awkward if you don't let go of me first." His voice was teasing but gentle – and she felt like that was perhaps a good way to describe the man himself. She also realized (well, ok, it wasn't like she forgot) that she was still hugging him and his arm was lightly resting against her lower back, present but not quite holding her there. She eased back and let her arms fall, plopping down into her seat.

"Sorry. It's just…been a bad day. And I really, really wanted that scone. Really."

He gracefully slid into the seat across from her. "Well then, I'm very glad that I was here." He smiled again. "How have you been, Darcy?"

She had a feeling he would see right through any attempt to lie, so she didn't even bother. Grimacing a bit, she replied, "I'd say I've been good, but you know I'm a terrible liar. I'm…alright. I guess. I have my health and all that."

His brow furrowed in what appeared to be genuine concern. "What's wrong?"

She wasn't sure if he was asking because he was a gentleman and it was the polite thing to do, but she'd had a baaaad day and he bought her a scone, and dammit, she felt like unloading!

"Everything. Seriously. My new job sucks – it's beyond menial. My supervisor is such an asshole. He calls me 'doll'. Who does that? And treats me like I'm his secretary. 'Grab me a cup of coffee, doll! Pick up that file for me, doll!' And he always has this stupid look on his face - as if I don't realize that he drops stuff on purpose just to see me bend over. And he tries to look down my shirt every freaking time I so much as hunch. Total perve. But, it's nice to see misogyny is still alive and well in the new millennium. And I can't even quit because it's the only place that would hire me in this stupid economy."

Loki opened his mouth to attempt some sort of response, but Darcy wasn't done ranting.

"_And_ my mother called me today, which was awesome – and by awesome I mean hellacious. Apparently my cousin Hannah is having a baby. And she's like 12 years old! Ok, no, I guess she's…19? But, whatever. She's a baby – _having_ a baby! And my mother is all, 'You know Darcy, you're not getting any younger. With your boobs, sagging is gonna be an issue. You gotta hook a guy while they're bouncy!' And I-" She broke off after catching the look on Loki's face. He looked caught somewhere between trying not to laugh and trying not to squirm. She mentally backtracked and realized that maybe talking about saggy boobs with your former boss's ex-boyfriend wasn't exactly something normal people did.

She blurted out, "Sorry! I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm talking about my boobs. That's weird. And I'm _still_ talking about them, which is weird. I just…yeah, bad day. Thank you for the scone. I won't be insulted if you run away now." And she kinda expected him to. Or at least make some sort of semi-plausible excuse and saunter out. Nope. He just let out a soft laugh.

"It's quite alright. I'm man enough to have a discussion about breasts – saggy or otherwise." His expression sobered. "But I am concerned about your employer. His behavior sounds completely unacceptable. Can you file a complaint?"

"Maybe, but I wouldn't wanna risk it. Sucky and degrading as it is, I really need the job." He nodded as if he understood.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Darcy blinked. Wait, what? Did he just…? Yeah. Why?

Her voice was tentative, "Umm…no. Not at the moment."

"How about a brother?" Ok, seriously, _what_?

"Only child."

His brow furrowed again and he reached into his pocket. Darcy watched him pull out a card and look at it a moment before handing it across to her. It was his business card. Well, that certainly didn't make anything less freaking confusing.

"That has my mobile number on it. I know I'm going to sound as misogynistic as your lecher of a boss, but I don't like the idea of a young woman being sexually harassed at her workplace without someone she could call in an emergency. If you ever feel uncomfortable, I always have my phone on me." Oh. _Oh_. Wow. Yeah, ok, that was kinda anti-feminist because she can take care of herself dammit, but she still got all warm and tingly inside. That was the sweetest thing anyone had done for her since…well, since he bought her a scone.

"Thanks. Seriously. That's, like, incredibly chivalrous and thoughtful and shit." Why was she having all these Lifetime Movie moments with him today? "Thanks, really."

"You're very welcome. Please don't hesitate to call me if you ever need to." She just nodded, not really able to imagine a situation where she would need to, but oddly grateful nonetheless.

Her phone suddenly rang, causing her to internally curse. Meredith Brooks was singing about being a bitch – Mom. She really needed to stop personalizing ringtones for everyone. Pulling it from her pocket, she checked the caller ID hoping for a miracle. No dice. Annoyed, she huffed out, "Oh, c'mon!"

"Insurance salesman?" Loki's tone was breezy, but his eyes were concerned.

"Just my mom. I'll let it go to…" Idea. Stupid idea. Crazy idea. "Actually, not to be rude, but do you mind if I grab this? I promise it'll last less than one minute. You can time me."

"Go right ahead."

She answered quickly. "Hey, ma…Yeah, I'm sorry I said that. You have really nice boobs for a woman your age…I didn't call you old! It was a compliment."

She wondered what Loki would make of her side of the conversation. Darcy got her randomness from her mother. And her inappropriateness. This could have been a mistake.

"Having coffee…Nope…Yup…Definitely male."

Her mother's next question required a bit of pondering, so she tilted her head and scrutinized Loki in a way she could see was making him nervous.

"Very yummy."

She could see his lips quirk almost involuntarily.

"I know, me neither!…He's a chemistry professor…Well, he wasn't _my_ professor!…No, ma!…I don't even own a plaid skirt, you freak!"

He looked vaguely amused.

"I'd say he's pretty well-off…I'm not sure, but his clothes are really nice…Not _gay_ nice, ma!…He dated my old boss…No, Slutty McBitchface."

Loki's eyebrow rose so high, it was almost lost in his hairline.

"Yeah, that guy!…Well, he's looking at me funny, so-…Yeah, he can hear me…I'm pretty sure he already thought I was crazy. But he's polite, so it's ok…Accidental. He bought me a scone…It's like a pastry…I'm not getting fat!…Yeah, ok…No, he's a gentleman…What? I seriously can't believe you just said that!…I'm not tricking any guy into marriage via a not-so-accidental pregnancy, that's sick!...Yeah, well I'm not Aunt Patty!"

Yes, this was definitely a mistake. All she had wanted to do was let her mother know she was currently having coffee with an attractive and successful man so she would get off her damn back about dating. She should have known better.

"Yeah, he's still here…Look, I have to go. I'm being weird and rude…No, ma...No, ma!...Fine, whatever. Bye!" She ignored her mother's plea to wait and hung up on her, meeting Loki's eyes.

She had trouble reading his facial expression, but he was probably horrified. She should apologize. Before she could open her mouth - and to her complete amazement - he suddenly started laughing. Like, seriously guffawing. What?

"That was…you...completely ridiculous...," he could barely get the words out. While she didn't see what was so amusing, his laughter was kinda infectious and so she started giggling. And then laughing. She still wasn't sure what was so funny, but it felt really good to laugh - to actually have something to laugh about. This whole meeting was weird and random and amazing.

After a few moments, the laughter tapered off. Loki was the first to speak, looking uncharacteristically sheepish.

"Look, I'm sorry about that. It's just that was so ludicrous. And illuminating. You've always been a bit of a mystery to me and I feel like I've just discovered a huge clue. A huge, terribly amusing clue." He smiled at her and she was inordinately pleased that she was the one who had been able to make him laugh so hard there were tears in his eyes. Granted, he was laughing _at_ her more than _with_ her, but it was still nice.

Smiling, she answered, "You know, I'm not sure I really want to know what you mean by _illuminating._ But, I'm glad I was able to amuse you. Although, I'm going to have to say that _you're_ the man of mystery. I'm an open book - a magazine even. Lots of big pictures and easy to follow captions. No mystery here. You're the Iliad. Or, you know, something that comes in a tome." She could feel herself rambling, which was a standard nervous reaction for her. She didn't want to think about _why_ she felt nervous, so she just said, "I haven't laughed like that in a long time."

"Me neither." His voice was suddenly pensive, as if he were trying to work something out. "You know, it was nice seeing you again." Wait, that sounded like a goodbye!

"Yeah, same here."

"I have a horrendously boring meeting with the rest of my department in about twenty minutes, so I'm going to have to drink and dash." Damn, it _was_ a goodbye.

"Oh, ok. That sucks. Try not to fall asleep. But if sleep is inevitable, just try not to snore or drool."

"I'll give it my all." He started getting up and she had the ridiculous urge to hug him goodbye. "Take care, Darcy. And I was serious about calling me if you ever need to." Such a freaking gentleman.

"I will. Thanks. And thanks for the scone. And the company. You really made today bearable."

His smile was warm and kind. "I'm glad. Farewell, Darcy."

"Bye, Loki." He turned around and walked away without looking back. Which was good because she may have checked out his ass. She took another bite of her scone.

Jane was such a fucking _idiot_.


	8. Chapter 8

**Two weeks later…**

_Shower. Bed. Shower. Bed._ The two words repeated in Darcy's head like a mantra. She was almost home after another craptacular day at work. Her douchebag boss had actually called her 'Sugar Lips'. She supposed that was better than Sugar _Tits_, but still...not cool. At least it was Friday.

Her building was finally in sight and she would have started skipping if she wasn't so damn tired. Trudging up the steps to the fourth floor, she went to put the key in the lock and froze with her hand outstretched. Her door was cracked open. She very clearly remembered locking it this morning. What was she supposed to do? Call the cops? No, first she would make sure it was something police worthy. Maybe there was a maintenance issue and the super had to come fix something. The building was really run-down, so that was just as likely as…the other option.

She reached into her bag and pulled out the taser she always carried around with her (hey, she was a single girl in a big city – she was not going to be another statistic). She pushed the door completely open. The lights were off.

She nervously called out, "Hello?"

Silence.

She flipped the light on, holding her taser at the ready.

Well, there was no one in there. Her apartment was a tiny studio, so unless someone was hiding in her shower, she was alone.

The place was also completely trashed. Fuck. This wasn't happening.

Why would someone break into her dinky apartment and steal her cheap crap? Seriously.

She walked the rest of the way into the apartment, looking around and trying not to cry. She peeked into the bathroom (just to check behind the shower curtain – empty) and then sat down on the toilet seat and let the tears come. This sucked so bad.

Once she was under control – well mostly under control – she called 911 even though she wasn't sure it counted as an emergency since the crime had long since been committed. At least the woman on the phone was nice to her. She heard a knock on the door an oddly short while later and two cops came in and poked around and asked so many freaking _questions_ and she just wanted to cry again. Apparently whoever had done this had hit three other apartments in the neighborhood, so the cops had already been nearby. Wasn't that convenient? The super came down and promised to get a locksmith to fix her door in the morning – which meant she'd have to spend the night in a freshly burgled apartment with no locks. Awesome.

After what felt like forever, the cops were gone and words like 'receipts' and 'screwdriver' and 'Renter's Insurance' (what the hell was that?) were drifting through her head. She had wanted to shower, but that wasn't happening now. She already felt ridiculously vulnerable, she wasn't going to go ahead and get naked. And she couldn't afford a hotel room. Especially not now – she didn't even want to think about how much it would cost to replace what was taken. At least she had her phone on her, which was comparable to a small miracle in the parade of crappy luck that was becoming her life.

She wished - not for the first time - that she was more social. She had friends. Sort of. Friends she'd studied with and sometimes grabbed a beer with after class. But, she didn't really have the kind of friend that you call when your place gets burglarized and you just want someone to hold you while you cry. God, she wished she had a boyfriend. One of those would be really convenient right now.

Wait!

She started digging through her messenger bag like a mad person until she found her wallet. She flipped through it looking for a little white card. Bingo! 'Loki Odinson, Professor of Chemistry'.

She hesitated for a minute. It was almost midnight and - barring the random coffee shop encounter - she hadn't seen him in months and they were never really friendly. But, he'd offered. And he was a gentleman. And as much as she'd felt affronted when he implied that a single, young woman needed a man to protect her – well, she really needed someone to make her feel safe right now. And she couldn't think of anyone who would do that better than Loki.

The hell with it, she thought, and dialed.


	9. Chapter 9

Loki hadn't given much thought to Darcy after he and Jane parted ways. The only time she ever crossed his mind was when he stopped into his favorite coffee shop and saw the scones. While he'd never been a fan of the overly sweet and dense confections, she was always ridiculously thankful and happy whenever he brought her one. He suspected that she couldn't afford to spend $10 on gourmet coffee and a scone every day (she probably couldn't afford it once every week) but it wasn't much to him. Money he had; someone who appreciated him was less common. So he'd enjoyed buying her treats and the megawatt smile he'd get in return.

She was a quirky girl. Sweet, but strange. She was also honest to the point of rudeness, which he found oddly refreshing. He hadn't thought about it at the time – he had been in a relationship and monogamy was damn important to him – but he supposed she was pretty too. Not in an obvious way, like Jane, whose beauty hit you over the head. Darcy had a subtle beauty. She wore her baggy layers like armor and wielded her snarky tongue like a weapon. He had a feeling that if she ever relaxed her guard, she'd be a knock-out.

He had been surprised by Darcy's show of solidarity the last time he'd spoken to Jane. He knew he was being a bit of an asshole, but he wanted to hurt Jane as much as she'd hurt him. No – to be honest – he'd wanted to hurt her even more. So he used his words and his wit (far more powerful than any weapon forged from metal or stone), and he'd cut her with the precision of a surgeon and the smile of a schoolboy. He couldn't even bring himself to regret it. Still, Darcy's ridiculous facial expressions had made it clear that she had taken his side in the break-up, which was unexpected as she owed him no real loyalty. Jane had been her boss and he was just the man who would bring her the occasional cup of coffee.

Regardless, he wasn't quite sure how to react when he saw her sitting in his coffee shop, at his usual table, wearing business clothes and drinking a caramel macchiato. He actually did a double-take as he had never seen her wear something so formal (and form-fitting). She certainly didn't look like the bohemian girl he remembered.

She obviously hadn't seen him and he'd contemplated leaving – he wasn't a fan of awkward situations and it certainly had the potential to become one. However, he didn't see a scone on her table and so he took the chance and bought one for her. He figured that he had a few minutes to kill before his ass-numbingly dull meeting and it might be pleasant to catch up. And he could consider it being sociable – he was afraid he was becoming a bit of a hermit.

Then she shocked the hell out of him with the hug. Excepting his mother, he couldn't remember anyone actually hugging him since he was a child. At least not hugging him just to hug him. He'd embraced women, obviously, but only when they were being intimate. And both Thor and his father were more of the manly-pat-on-the-back kind of guys. Perhaps he gave off an aura that told most people not to invade his personal space. Darcy wasn't most people, though. She clung to him and thanked him with an almost comical earnestness. Sweet, silly girl. When she finally released him, he was almost disappointed. He hadn't realized how much he'd apparently longed for such innocent physical contact. And she obviously appreciated the scone as she began to eat it with a reverence normally reserved for inmates eating their last meal.

The conversation was nice too. She rambled a bit, but it was oddly amusing. And her side of the phone call to her mother was like something out of a farcical comedy sketch – and strangely flattering as he was pretty sure she'd told her mother he was 'very yummy'. It may have been unintentional humor on her part, but he couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed that hard – perhaps he never had. He had been introspective even as a child, looking pensive while Thor's laughter echoed off the walls.

Talking with her made Loki realize - not for the first time - that he could use a few friends. He had colleagues and acquaintances, but no one to have long conversations with over coffee.

After his run-in with Darcy, he had started going to the coffee shop more often on the off-chance that he might run into her again – buy her another scone, get another hug, have another laugh. But she was never there and he'd almost put the entire meeting behind him when his cellphone began to ring as he was getting out of the shower one night.

_Riiiing_. He picked his phone up quickly, afraid that it was some sort of family emergency, but the number wasn't familiar. He glanced at the clock thinking that it had damned well better not be a telemarketer. His voice was slightly annoyed when he answered, "Hello?"

"Hi. Loki? Um, it's Darcy."

Darcy? That was unexpected. He looked back at the clock – since she wasn't completely socially inept, he assumed she was either drunk or in trouble. He erred on the side of caution.

"Are you alright?"

"Sorta, but not really." Well, that was specific. He started feeling vaguely concerned.

"Darcy, what happened?"

There was a pause, "You know, I shouldn't have called you. I'm being stupid. I'm sorry. Goodnight."

"Wait!" Darcy was many things, but stupid wasn't one of them. Something had happened. "Tell me what's wrong!" He knew his voice was a little harsh, but he was becoming alarmed.

"Well, my place was burgled. I mean, I don't know why – I don't own anything nice and I live in a fourth floor walk-up in a crappy building. But, there you go. And the locksmith is coming in the morning, but I'm kinda alone right now and I want to take a shower but I don't want the burglar to come back while I'm all naked and wet and vulnerable. I mean, you can't use a taser in the shower. But, I remembered you said to call you if I ever needed guy-shaped help, and well, I think I really do. And I'm sorry I'm babbling, I'm just afraid if I stop talking, I'll start crying again. And that would suck because-" She didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon, so he had to cut her off.

"Darcy! Slow down. Take a deep breath." He waited until he heard her exhale through the phone. "What's your address? I'll be right there."

She paused again. "_Really_?" Her voice was small and scared and it made him want to literally run there immediately despite the fact he was only wearing a towel.

"Of course. Now give me your address." She complied, rattling off a street name in a rather shady area. "Ok, now stay still and try to stay calm. I'm on my way."

He dressed in record time and hailed a cab with a rather manic hand gesture. Darcy's street was dark and her building was one step above condemned. This was beyond unacceptable. He knew it should have occurred to him sooner – if she couldn't afford a $5 baked good, she obviously couldn't afford a safe apartment.

He told the driver to wait and keep the meter running, then took the stairs two at a time. He could see the lock on her door was busted. There was no way he was letting her stay here tonight. Quite possibly, she wasn't staying here ever again. He knocked and the door opened immediately, as if she had been standing just on the other side.

She'd obviously been crying, which threw him off as it seemed out of character for her. She also looked embarrassed, giving him a rather pathetic smile.

"Thanks for coming, Loki." Her voice was like a little girl's and it made him want to hit whoever had done this to her. Since that was impossible for the moment, he would have to settle for comfort over vengeance.

"Of course," he said, pulling her toward him by the arm and wrapping her up in an embrace. She immediately melted into him, plastering herself against his chest and gripping the back of his shirt in her hands so tightly that he was scared the thin material might rip. Feeling out of his element, Loki held the back of Darcy's head with one hand and ran the other up and down her back in what he hoped was a soothing gesture. He felt foolish but still he murmured into her hair, "It's going to be alright. We'll take care of it. You're safe now. Ok?" He felt her nod against his collarbone. Reluctantly, he pulled back so he could look her in the eyes.

"Have you packed a bag?"

She looked confused, "A bag?"

"You can't possibly think that we're staying here tonight. You're going to come stay at my place until this is all figured out, alright?" She looked shocked and then she was hugging him again so tightly it almost hurt – damn she was strong for such a little thing – but she pulled back quickly and started running around the room obviously trying to grab what she needed.

He couldn't help but cringe as he finally surveyed the damage. The whole place was about as big as his guest bathroom. The mattress had been flipped and torn and the nightstand was upended. The floor was covered in broken glass and debris. The TV stand was empty. Damn. He doubted she had any insurance. He wondered if her pride would let her accept his help in this. Well, he would just have to be subtle about it.

She zipped up a duffel bag and threw a messenger bag over her shoulder. He took the duffel from her hand.

"Is that it?"

"Yeah, that's all I need."

Well, alright then. He put his hand on her shoulder and guided her down the stairs. The cab was still waiting out front and he held open the door for her. She slid across the seat and he got in beside her. He gave the cab driver his address and looked over at Darcy. She was staring out the window, but he could see her shoulders shaking. He reached for her arm.

"Hey, it's alright. You're safe now. And I promise we'll get your apartment sorted, ok?"

She looked at him and the gratitude in her eyes made him feel oddly invincible.

"Thank you. I mean, that sounds so lame. I say thank you when you buy me a scone. This is so far beyond a scone. I-I can't even…I just…thank you." Sweet, silly girl.

He took her trembling hand and raised it to his lips for a quick kiss.

"You're welcome. Though I should warn you that you're my first damsel in distress. You'll have to give me an evaluation later."

She cracked a smile and shifted her hand around in his so she could lace their fingers together.

"Perfect 10's across the board. Even the German judge liked your performance." Her words made Loki breathe an internal sigh of relief. If she was joking, then it was going to be alright.

He quipped, "Damn, I'm good. I always figured I would be, but it's nice to have irrefutable proof."

She smiled again. Much, much better.

The rest of the ride passed in silence. When they stopped, he paid the cab fare plus a large tip and stepped out behind her. She was staring up at his building in awe. He supposed it _was_ rather nice. While relatively lucrative and very respectable, chemistry professors weren't exactly raking in the dough.

"C'mon. It's warmer on the inside." She followed as he let himself in.

"Wait, you don't own this whole building, do you?"

He supposed he _was_ slightly better off than most people.

"Yes, I do. Now come on, I can give you the tour later. I'm sure you're tired. And you mentioned a shower on the phone."

He led her to the spare room closest to his and placed her bag on the bed. Then he showed her where the bathroom was and left her there while he grabbed a towel from the closet. When he got back, she was grimacing at her reflection in the mirror.

"Here you go. Use as much hot water as you'd like. I'll be in my room, which is right down the hall. Just call if you need anything. Anything at all." He started to leave until he felt her grab his arm. Then they were hugging again – this was becoming a bit of a trend.

She pulled back and looked up at him with a tremulous smile.

"You're amazing. Seriously, Loki. You're totally my hero tonight. I don't know what I would have done without you." Silly, sweet girl.

"You would have been alright. You're made of stern stuff, Miss Lewis." He gave her a gentle smile. "But just because you can handle things doesn't mean you have to. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Ok, darling?"

_Darling_? Loki mentally face-palmed. Something about her sad eyes and fragile state was bringing out the latent 'protective man' instinct in him. Luckily, she didn't seem to notice his sudden and surprising use of endearments.

"Ok. Anyway, thanks. I'm gonna go scrub at least the top three layers of my skin off." She released him and wrapped her arms around herself instead.

"You do that. Shampoo and conditioner are on the ledge, soap is in the holder. I'm sorry I don't have any body wash or something more feminine." He made a mental note to figure out what kind of bath products she used and pick some up just in case.

"That's fine. Soap's gender-neutral. Thanks."

He nodded and left her alone in the bathroom. Then he sat on the edge of his bed listening to the water run. He had a feeling she was probably crying in there, using the running water to muffle her sobs. The thought broke his heart a bit.

A while later, the water finally stopped. There was silence for a minute, then he heard the bathroom door open. Footsteps came down the hall and paused outside his room. He tensed, ready to jump up and help in whatever way she required, but then the footsteps continued on in the direction of her make-shift bedroom.

She didn't make another noise all night. Loki knew that she didn't because he stayed up listening. He tried to sleep, but part of him just couldn't stand the idea of not being there if she needed him. No one had ever needed him before. She'd actually called him her _hero_. Him! (Not his father…not Thor). For once, he wasn't going to screw this up.

He couldn't fail Darcy. He wouldn't.


	10. Chapter 10

Darcy liked living with Loki. She really, really liked it. First of all, his place was colossal and beautiful and her bed was like sleeping on a cloud made of cotton candy and happiness. And his TV was huge and had more channels than she realized was even possible.

And Loki himself was even more awesome than she had imagined. He was _funny_. Like, genuinely funny – droll and clever and even more sarcastic than her. And he was charming, especially when he wasn't trying to be. And just so nice to her. No one had ever treated her this well – asking about her day and truly listening and caring about her answer. He even took the time to figure out her likes and dislikes so that he could always order for her without having to ask what she wanted (which she figured should bother her – she could order for herself dammit – but she secretly, and somewhat embarrassingly, liked the novelty of being pampered). She only hoped that he found her as awesome as she found him. She figured he had to at least like her a little bit, since he opened his home to her so easily. Part of her feared that he would have done the exact same thing for any woman – he was so chivalrous and polite. What if she was like a pet to him? He did seem to like taking care of her. God, it would be devastating if she was the bipedal equivalent of a cat.

Originally, she had anticipated staying one night at his place and then going back to her crappy apartment. She didn't plan on Loki's stubborn gentleman act. He accompanied her back to her building and offered to wait for the locksmith with her. He even helped her sort through her things and note what was missing (her laptop, her grandmother's earrings, her TV…her wonderful, reality-show producing TV).

Then, out of the blue, he turned to her and told her that she wasn't staying there anymore. He explained that she was a young woman – alone - in an obviously unsafe apartment, in a very unsafe neighborhood, and he simply wasn't going to allow a friend of his to put herself in such danger unnecessarily. Stunned and confused (so they _were_ friends?), Darcy had just stared at him. He had taken her silence as acquiescence and started to gather her things together. When she had finally unfrozen, and told him with no little embarrassment that this was the best she could afford on her salary and with her student loans, he just told her matter-of-factly that she would be staying with him. She had thrown up a token fuss – she didn't like being treated like a child or a perk-free kept woman – but she honestly wanted to go back to his gorgeous pad. And she was so freaking lonely. It might be nice to come home to someone for once.

So she packed up everything and told her landlord that she was leaving. The jerk had tried to kick up a fuss about breaking her lease, but Loki had calmly informed him the rent would continue to be paid until another tenant could move in. Neither she nor her landlord knew how to respond to that, so Darcy just kept quiet and the next thing she knew, she was living with Loki.

She assumed it would be weird and awkward, but it was just kinda nice. And awesome. She'd get home from her shitty job and Loki would be there with dinner ready and a smile on his face. Or, if he had to work late, there would be a message on her voicemail and she was the one waiting for him with the food and the smile. After being a solitary creature for the past few years, it was addictive.

It didn't hurt that Loki was sorta ridiculously hot, too. She wasn't sure if it was because she was spending so much time with him, but lately every time she looked at him she found him more and more attractive. It was weird, but not unwelcome. She had a feeling (alright, more like a hope) that the visual appreciation was mutual. She knew he found her at least fairly pretty, since he always complimented her when she dressed moderately well. And maybe she caught him checking out her ass in the one slightly-too-tight pencil skirt she wore to work. And so maybe she wore it more often. And dropped things in front of him. And bent at the waist when she picked it up. Maybe.

Whatever. It wasn't like there was some great well of sexual tension between them – just an objective admiration for an attractive person of the opposite sex. She liked where they were right now – friends, roommates, confidantes – and she wouldn't screw that up for the world. Even if she thought he had really nice hands. And pretty eyes. And his voice was like butterscotch that made her want to lick his lips to see if his words taste as sweet as they sound. That was all beside the point. If he were an action figure, he'd be 'Friend-Zone Loki', complete with gorgeous ex-girlfriend and his own separate bedroom.

She wouldn't push and he never pulled and so that was that. It was nice (maybe just a touch frustrating) and always comfortable. There were also unforeseen perks, like the fact that he was able to greatly improve her work environment by stopping in at her office one day, presumably to bring her the cellphone she'd forgotten (he'd hidden it), and introducing himself to her sleazy boss as the guy she was living with and who had heard _so_ much about him. His commanding aura coupled with the dangerous smile on his face ensured that Douchey McPerve never called her Sugar Lips again.

Just thinking about how her boss had stuttered after Loki left made Darcy smile despite her present endeavor. She was making a valiant effort (and failing spectacularly) at making dinner. They had been consuming massive quantities of take-out lately, and while she was pretty sure she could live off the deliciousness of Chinese food for the rest of her life, she had wanted to surprise Loki with a home-cooked meal. Now, it looked like she'd be surprising him with a house full of an odd burning smell. Great. She was a college graduate and master of the art of microwaving things, but the oven was proving too much of a challenge.

During one of their many random conversations, Loki had mentioned that he loved coq au vin. After she giggle-snorted at the fact that Loki loved "coq," he told her it was some sort of French chicken thing. She told herself she'd make it for him as a thank you for being so amazing. How hard could chicken be?

Really fucking hard, apparently.

First, she read that it's supposed to marinate for two days. Two days! Well, that wasn't going to happen. She wanted it to be a surprise and she couldn't really hide a big thing of chicken in his own refrigerator. So, she skipped that part. And it was all downhill from there. Marinating and boiling and garnishing and frying. They didn't own a sieve and she learned the hard way that you shouldn't use paper towels (or coffee filters or a pasta strainer) as a make-shift sieve while wearing clothes that you ever planned on wearing again. Now something was burning and she had no idea what it was. Loki was due home in less than 10 minutes and she was standing in a kitchen that looked like someone had been massacred in it, she was covered in flour and red wine, and the disgusting smell was driving her crazy. She knew that if Loki walked in right now he would just try to make her feel better (and then excuse himself so he could laugh his ass off). Patronizing, amused Loki was not an experience she wanted to live through right now.

Decision made, she threw a packet of popcorn into the microwave and set it for 6 minutes. Then she frantically ran around the kitchen trying to clean everything up. If she could just get the evidence of her culinary debacle into the dishwasher, she could play off the bad smell as burnt popcorn and he would never have to know that she was a failure at life.

Finally, the kitchen looked clean (save for the half empty bottle of wine she kept out and was occasionally guzzling from like a bourgeoisie pig) and the microwave had gone off - the smell of burnt popcorn masking the burnt chicken. She was just closing the dishwasher when she heard the front door open. Pride at a plan well-executed filled her before she looked down and realized that her shirt was all the evidence he'd need to know what had actually happened. Her jeans were alright, but her green sweater was covered in flour and some sort of greasy-winey raw chicken morsels (don't ask how that happened).

Shit!

"Darcy? What's that smell?" Loki's voice drifted into the kitchen. She had about 7 seconds before it would all be over.

Idea. Stupid idea. Crazy idea. She whipped her sweater over her head and threw it in the sink, turning on the tap.

"Darcy, why does it sm-," Loki's voice broke off. She tried to act blasé as she looked over her shoulder at him. He was frozen in the doorway, looking at her with an odd expression on his face. She bet she looked ridiculous.

With a feigned nonchalance, she gave Loki a small smile, "Hey, sorry. I burnt the popcorn. And spilled red wine all over my sweater. I'm just washing it out before it sets." She nodded her head toward the half-empty wine bottle on the table just to cement the truth in her story. He wasn't saying anything. "How do you feel about pizza tonight? Or maybe that place with the yummy chicken cheesesteaks?"

Still no response.

"Loki?"

He blinked, seeming to come back to reality. "Oh! Popcorn. And wine. Right. Yes, you'd better let that soak. I'll take it to the dry cleaner if it doesn't come out. And pizza sounds lovely. I'll go put in the order. Half pepperoni and mushrooms?"

"Yup."

He gave her a little smile and left the kitchen. She couldn't believe that actually worked. Part of Darcy was relieved that he seemed to just roll with the weird things she did. But another (bigger) part of her wanted to cry. She was standing there in her bra (her pretty, lacy, perky-boob making bra) and he just smiled and nodded and ordered fucking pizza.

'Friend-Zone Loki,' she reminded herself. Which was fine with her. Really.

It wasn't until later, after she'd walked upstairs shirtless with all the dignity of a queen (not that he'd been anywhere in sight), and put on clean clothes, and eaten pizza (the way she liked it, just like he remembered), and watched the last half of Inception (so many pretty, pretty men) that she finally looked in a mirror.

Her hair was covered in flour.


	11. Chapter 11

Loki had never lived with someone before. To his immense surprise, he found he quite liked the experience. After moving out of his parents' house, he had lived in an apartment during college (no roommate) and then he bought his current residence (still, no roommate). He and Jane had never even discussed moving in together, which was probably a sign that he jumped the gun on his proposal. Hindsight is always 20/20.

Still, he hadn't expected living with someone to be quite the way it was turning out to be. Granted, Darcy's presence in his life wasn't something he could have anticipated, but he'd never imagined that having a reason to hurry home would be so oddly fulfilling. And she was always amusing. Laughter now fell from his lips more easily and more often than he had ever thought possible. His own sense of humor had always been a tad dark, but she genuinely seemed to appreciate it. He also liked taking care of her, especially because it seemed that no one had ever done it before. From what he gathered of her family situation (only child, single-mother, rotating stepfathers), she had been independent for far too long. He liked the confused look she got on her face whenever he did something nice for her – as if she couldn't quite understand why he was doing it. Then she'd smile at him, and her happiness would come from the very depths of her, making her glow.

She yielded to his suggestion (demand) that she move in with him far easier than he'd been anticipating. He had planned on being subtle about helping her, but in the harsh light of day her apartment was still an unsafe dump and she was still a beautiful woman living alone. That was not a combination he could stomach. So, he'd simply asked (demanded) that she move in with him until something more suitable come along. A month later, and he'd stopped even the pretense of looking for somewhere else for her. She fit in just fine in his home. And his life.

Maybe it wasn't that he liked living with _someone_ as much as it was that he liked living with _Darcy_. He tried not to let his mind travel down that path too often, but sometimes they'd be laughing together over something inane and she'd look at him and she would be so beautiful that it would actually hurt. And her body…

No. He wouldn't go there. They were friends. Good friends. Best friends, even. He wouldn't fuck that up by acting like his brother. Not to mention the fact that she was nine years younger than him. Part of him couldn't believe he'd been reduced to playing the role of both the dirty old man _and _the asshole lusting after his best friend. It was somewhat humiliating.

And then she had to go prancing around in her bra, as if he was a bloody robot. Her casual disregard of the fact that he was a red-blooded male with a libido actually hurt. He wasn't sure how he would react if she ever went on a date. And didn't come home that night. Or worse, didn't come home alone. That was a bridge he would cross when he got to it. Luckily, she dated as often as he did these days – meaning she didn't.

They were actually turning into a pair of homebodies. Well, he'd always been a homebody but he was turning her into one. That thought in mind, he decided that he would take Darcy out that night for dinner and a movie. Or perhaps the theater – they both loved Shakespeare. Maybe he'd just leave the activity up to her. On second thought, he wasn't sure he could actually bring himself to go to some sort of dance club, but he knew he'd suffer through it if she asked. So…dinner and a show. Definitely something a bit more upscale as they'd been living off of take-out and could use a decent meal. French food, maybe. Or a good steakhouse.

He picked up his phone and shot a quick text over to Darcy, "We're going out tonight. I'll be home by 6. Dress pretty for me." He didn't insert a smiley face (he was too damn old to do something so juvenile) but he knew she understood that his tongue was planted firmly in his cheek whenever he bossed her around like that.

Her response was remarkably quick, "Yes, sir! Anything for you." He felt a stupid smile break out on his face. He had a class to teach in a few minutes, but he just wanted to blow it off and head home. Shaking his head at his own idiocy, he focused back on his job and made it through the rest of the day without any major catastrophes.

Letting himself in the door, he stopped short at the sight of Darcy standing a few feet away with a self-satisfied smirk on her face. And a dress that…damn. He wanted to tell her she looked lovely, but he couldn't get enough air into his lungs to even manage a simple 'hello.' Her lips were the exact same shade of dark red as her dress, like a rich burgundy wine. It was appropriate because he felt intoxicated just looking at her. Upscale might have been a mistake. He ran his eyes over her form again and decided that he didn't care.

She broke the silence, "6:07. You're late. I've been waiting for you. I dressed pretty and everything. I should get a reward for being at the beck and call of such a tyrant."

Swallowing rapidly, he found his center once again. "Well, I did plan to reward you with copious amounts of liquor and filet minion. Perhaps even a bit of Shakespeare?"

She blinked. Like clockwork, her face became slightly confused. Then she smiled and the air was once again sucked from his lungs. "Booze, beef, and the Bard? Really!" She bounced a bit on her toes. "You certainly know the way to this lady's heart, dude. You are more than forgiven for being late and you can boss me around all you want!"

He smiled at her enthusiasm, "Good to know. Now give me one minute to change into a suit I haven't been sitting in all day and we can leave."

She was still bouncing on her toes, which was unfortunate because it made his eyes focus on an area of her body that bounced along with her – he was such a dirty old pervert. He deserved to be boxed about the ears or rapped across the knuckles or something ridiculous like that. He ran upstairs and grabbed a shirt then went into the bathroom. Looking at himself in the mirror, he had to tell himself to stop being such a damn idiot. Darcy was his friend. Yes, she was beautiful and funny and kind. She was also his _friend_. His young, semi-dependent friend who he would be putting into an incredibly awkward position if he were to ever make a pass at her. Thoroughly chastened and in control of his hormones, he headed back down to his lovely companion for the evening. She was still smiling that megawatt grin, which only got impossibly wider when he offered her his arm.

"Oooohhh, fancy," she muttered, slipping her arm through his. "I feel like a real lady."

"That's probably because you _are_ a real lady seeing as you exist and you are female."

She smacked his chest with her free hand, "You know what I meant, asshat."

"You know you're awfully violent and insulting for someone supposedly at my beck and call. Perhaps I'll take my company to someone more appreciative." He winked at her.

"Empty threat. No one else can put up with you. Your life would be meaningless without me."

She had no idea how right she was.

Dinner was a success. The food had been delicious and Loki always enjoyed watching Darcy eat. He supposed that might seem strange, but she ate with such gusto and relish that he always found it vaguely arousing. And the noises she made after every bite of the dessert they shared were going to haunt him as he took cold showers for the next few days - one should not masturbate to the mental image of their best friend eating chocolate mousse. Talk about gauche.

The theater was a success as well. He'd always found Twelfth Night to be a ridiculous play, but Darcy was engrossed and beaming throughout the whole performance, so he basked in her happiness. She babbled the rest of the night about how amazing the actors were and how kinky the gender-bending was for the time period and so on – he just nodded and smiled, offering little responses when prompted. He felt happy.

Too happy.

This worried him as his life tended to follow a pattern – brief periods of happiness followed by complete devastation. He tried not to worry about the future since Darcy had been teaching him to live in the moment. Still, as happy as he was right now meant something had to give. He just hoped Darcy would still be in his life when the other shoe finally dropped.


	12. Chapter 12

It took Darcy a few weeks before she realized Loki only used little terms of endearment on her. She'd never really socialized with him around people other than Jane, and he'd always called her 'my love' or something. So, when he started calling Darcy 'darling' or 'sweetheart' (her personal favorite), she just assumed he was one of those guys who gave women pet names. She thought it could even be a British thing (apparently he _was_ sorta British, having moved to the US when he was twelve).

But, after living with him for almost a month, she realized that the little names were a Darcy-thing and not a Loki-thing. They often went out together, shopping and seeing movies and such, and so occasionally they ran into acquaintances. He always referred to other people by their name, no matter how close they seemed to be. In fact, not once did he ever use a nickname on someone other than her. Darcy knew it wasn't a big deal. It _wasn't_. But she couldn't quite convince her stomach that it wasn't. Every time he called her sweetheart, it clenched up just a bit. Someone less self-aware than Darcy would have just ignored her own reaction, but Darcy was not one to be oblivious unless she wanted to be.

So, ok – she had a crush on her roommate (or was he her landlord?). Whatever, it didn't matter. It was just a crush. He was handsome and considerate and paid her more attention than anybody ever had before. It was only natural that she start developing lusty feelings.

Of course, it didn't help that there had been a spider in her room one night and when she screamed – scary little fucker came out of nowhere - Loki came running into her room wearing nothing but boxer-briefs (people really wore those?). After he dispatched the eight-legged menace in a non-PETA approved manner, she still couldn't catch her breath. She let him think it was due to lingering fear and not her ability to see the contours of his surprisingly impressive package. And she might have played up the fear angle to the point where he gave her a hug – a bare-chested, really nice-smelling hug. And she valiantly tried not to stare at his ass when he walked away. She failed. Thank god he never looked back because she was pretty sure her face resembled that of a drunken bachelorette at a Chippendale club – bow chicka wow wow. Whatever, she was twenty-two and female and hadn't been laid in an embarrassingly long amount of time. It was just a crush. Seriously.

She was lounging on the couch, musing about how trivial her attraction to Loki was (and possibly convincing herself that she wasn't in love with him – she wasn't – _at all_…oh god) while she waited for dinner to arrive. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, eliciting a Pavlovian response. She immediately jumped up and dashed toward the door grabbing the money off the table. Chinese food! Chinese food! Yummy, delicious MSG-laden goodness! She slid across the hardwood floor in a parody of Risky Business (it was completely necessary as she was only wearing one of Loki's dress shirts and a pair of red and white striped socks). She started speaking before the door was open all the way.

"How much do I owe y-" She paused, looking at the nicely-dressed older couple standing in front of her wearing startled expressions. She figured her expression was pretty startled too. "You're not Asian."

She realized that was probably a stupid thing to say and made little-to-no sense, but she had been expecting wonton soup and got Mr. Monopoly and Grace Kelly. They hadn't said anything but were looking her over in a way that made her uncomfortable. "I mean…sorry. I thought you were the Chinese food guy. You're not, obviously. Unless take-out has started being delivered in teams of two and the uniform is now business casual." Babbling was her natural reaction when she was thrown off-balance.

The older dude with the eye patch (best dressed pirate _ever_) finally spoke. "Who are you and what are you doing in this house?" His voice was British and mean and made her feel like a schoolgirl getting scolded for cheating on an exam. So, like a schoolgirl, she answered more obediently than she normally would.

"I'm Darcy. And I'm waiting for my dinner. Or, if you meant 'here' in a broader sense, I live here." Well, she kinda did. Temporarily. I mean, she was hypothetically looking for a new place. But this one already had all her stuff in it and was huge and gorgeous and rent-free. And it had Loki.

"You _live_ here?" Again, the guy made her feel really insecure and she wished she was wearing pants – or, well, anything other than a guy's shirt and a pair of silly socks.

"Yup."

The woman seemed to realize how uncomfortable Darcy was and that the guy…her husband?...was being pretty rude. I mean, they rang _her_ bell – they were the guests here. "I apologize, dear. We were just expecting someone else. Did you recently move in? We were looking for the former owner, Loki Odinson." Her voice was soft and kind and it made Darcy feel soooo much better.

It also made Darcy realize who they were. Rich, older, British couple – duh, dumbass. "Oh! You're Loki's parents. I'm so sorry. I just was_ not_ expecting you." They seemed taken aback again. She realized it was probably her spastic behavior. Or her lack of pants. Did Loki even tell his parents about her? "He didn't tell me you were coming. Trust me, if I'd known I would have at least gotten dressed. I'm not that uncivilized, I promise." She opened the door wider and stepped back so they could enter. "Come on in! Loki's at a faculty meeting for another half-hour or so, but you can just wait for him inside."

They were looking at each other and then at her. She supposed they were drawing a lot of interesting conclusions, especially considering her outfit. She wasn't sure how to tactfully handle the situation, so she figured Loki could explain. If his parents were anything like him, they would be too classy to bring it up. Finally, the man gestured for his wife to enter first and once they were inside, Darcy shut the door behind them.

"Why don't you go grab a seat in the living room and I'll get you something to drink?" She started walking down the hallway with the confused duo in tow.

"Thank you, dear. I'm sorry but I don't believe I caught your name before," Loki's mom offered politely.

"Darcy. Should I call you Mrs. Odinson?" Manners never hurt.

"Oh, no, dear. Rene is fine." Good, the awkwardness was fading. And Loki's mom seemed really nice. She also looked a great deal like her son, which didn't hurt.

"Ok, then. Rene. What's your poison?"

Loki's dad answered. "Brandy. Neat. And you can call me Anthony." His voice was still kinda cold and scary and made her wish she had pants on. But at least he was being civil.

Rene added, "And a glass of wine would be lovely. White if you have it."

Well, this made her feel a bit like a waitress, but she figured she _was _the hostess here. Fine then.

"No problem. I think there's a pretty decent chardonnay in the fridge." She turned toward the kitchen, then paused. "Actually, if you don't mind, I'm just gonna throw some pants on first. I'll be right back with your drinks." And may I recommend the grilled chicken. Awkward. So so so awkward.

Rene's voice was vaguely amused. "That's fine, dear. Take your time." Awkward.

She practically sprinted to her room and threw on the closest pair of clean black jeans she could find. Then she debated on Loki's shirt. Yeah, it had to go. Way too loaded. So, she pulled it off and put on a bra (always a good idea when meeting the parents) and the blue shirt Loki always said looked really nice on her. Hair and make-up? Nah, no time. She looked presentable enough.

She ran back down the stairs and to the kitchen, digging around for wine glasses and the special brandy glass Loki used. Uncorking the wine wasn't easy with the way her hands were shaking. Why was she so freaking nervous? It wasn't like Loki was her boyfriend. She didn't _need_ to make a great impression. And as awkward as the whole first meeting went, she had been through way more awkward situations. Still, she wanted them to like her. It was really important that they like her. Which was unlikely to happen now. Damn.

Drinks in hand, she steeled herself for a moment, breathing deeply. In the silence, she heard the sudden blare of music. Bonnie Tyler's raspy voice was singing "I Need a Hero." Oh crap, Loki was calling. And her phone was in the living room. She hurried back to his parents, internally counting the rings. One-two-three. She handed the drinks off quickly, before throwing out a quick apology as she answered the phone right before it went to voicemail.

She answered a bit breathlessly. "You're in trouble, buddy." Best get that out there first.

"Oh. Should I ask why or just apologize and be done with it?" His voice was amused but she could tell he was concerned.

"I'd go with the former on this one. And presents. Perhaps some groveling."

"I see." His tone became comically gallant. "Well, then – pray tell what I have done that has caused such offense, fair lady. You know that I would never intentionally hurt one as lovely as you. Please, please forgive me. And allow me to pick up dinner on my way home tonight as penance. Perhaps even some ice cream." Aww, and hehe. She tried to keep a stern face – his parents were watching – but she knew she kinda visibly melted. It wasn't fair that he could just say things like that. Layers. Naughty, sneaky layers.

"Ok, ok, you're laying it on kinda thick there, babe. And I already ordered Chinese for both of us, so the sustenance is covered. But you might wanna hurry home. Just a suggestion."

"Oh, and why is that?"

"Well, you have company." Silence for a beat.

"What?" His voice sounded odd.

"There are people here claiming to be your parents. Personally, I'm kinda suspicious. They seem a little too normal to have birthed _you_." She let a little Mona Lisa smile come out and play on her lips. "And I'm pretty sure I flashed your maybe-dad my panties, but he's too classy to point it out to me." His mother giggled and – wait a minute – his father cracked a smile. Score!

"Darcy." His voice was still odd and kinda serious.

"Loki." She echoed.

"You're serious. Shit. I'll be right there, sweetheart." He hung up immediately. She wasn't sure whether to be gooey from the 'sweetheart' or annoyed at his abruptness. Stalemate.

"You know your son has, like, no sense of humor." His parents seemed to be thawing. "It's a good thing he's so pretty or I wouldn't put up with him."

Rene laughed again, making Darcy feel unreasonably happy. Maybe Loki's parents wouldn't hate her after all! Rene had started to reply when the doorbell rang again. Pavlov had Darcy on her feet immediately.

"That would be the delivery guy. Finally. Excuse me a minute." Darcy took a deep breath before opening the door again, just in case. When it was only the Chinese food and not Thor or her own mother or someone equally disturbing, she let out a sigh of relief.

Loki was on his way home, his parents might not think she was some sort of tarty golddigger, and her wonton soup was finally here. Things were looking up.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry to break up the flow, but I had to explain about the names in this chapter. I realized that I gave Loki the last name Odinson. And I was simply not cool with having a character named Odin Odinson in my story. So, I just gave his parents the first names of the awesome actors who played them in the movie. Sorry if that bothers anyone!


	13. Chapter 13

Loki willed the cab to move faster. He had been planning on taking the subway home, but after Darcy dropped that bombshell on him, he hailed a cab to shave off as much time as possible.

It wasn't that he didn't want his parents to meet Darcy, or vice-versa. It was simply that he hadn't told his parents anything about her or their living situation. He wasn't hiding it, per se, but he knew they would draw their own (possibly not wrong) conclusions about the matter. And he needed more time to figure things out for himself before he started dragging his family into the mix.

Still, his parents and Darcy alone together wasn't exactly what was making him so nervous. She didn't say anything about him, but there was a chance his brother was also there. Darcy had probably picked up on the tension in their relationship (she was literally there for the Jane affair), but he wasn't sure if she really understood the peril of being a beautiful woman around his brother – and she was definitely a beautiful woman.

His relationship with Darcy had been transforming and it felt as if they were standing on the precipice of something important. If his brother did anything to jeopardize that, it might literally be the straw that broke the camel's back as far as Loki's relationship with Thor was concerned. The fact that it was Darcy – and not Sif or Jane or any of the others – that was bringing out the latent hatred he had for Thor spoke volumes about how much denial he was in when it came to his feelings for his quirky roommate.

But he could deal with that later. Right now, he had to get home. Faster, faster…finally! He threw too much money at the driver and bolted up the steps. He paused, collecting himself, before he opened the door.

He was greeted with the sound of his mother's laughter and the smell of Chinese food. He followed both to the dining room where he found Darcy sitting with his parents - and only his parents, thank god. She caught sight of him first and smiled her megawatt thanks-for-the-scone smile. That was definitely a good sign.

"Loki! Hi. Now, be honest. Are these actually your parents or should I call the cops before they make off with the good silver?" She was joking, which was always a good sign – she only joked when she felt relaxed. He smiled.

"Well, I'm not sure. The woman looks trustworthy, but the man seems a bit suspicious to me." He stepped into the room. "Wait, now that I've gotten a better look, they do seem familiar. Yes, yes, you're right – they _are_ my parents. No need to alert the authorities after all."

She wiped nonexistent sweat off her brow, "Whew. I was worried. I may have youthful exuberance on my side, but I have pathetic upper-body strength. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to take them in a fight."

"Well, that's why you have the taser, sweetheart. And it's really only my mother you have to worry about. Dad wouldn't hit a girl, but I doubt Mom is above hair-pulling and face-scratching."

"Well then, it's good that you're here to protect me with your manly machismo, oh fearsome spider-slayer." He realized that his parents were watching their banter without saying anything. He quickly turned to his mother and kissed her cheek.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your unexpected company?" He knew he was smiling just a bit too widely, but Thor wasn't here and Darcy was happy – ergo his life was good.

"Can't a mother come visit her son without a reason?" His noticed his mom was smiling just a bit too widely as well. He chanced a look at his father. The fact that the man was smiling at all was odd in itself, but he'd take it as a good sign. Darcy was eccentric but wonderful – he was glad they could see that.

"Sure. I suppose I'll let you get away with that."

"Your father and I just wanted to come check on you. We hadn't heard from you in a while and you missed last month's dinner, so we were concerned." She glanced at Darcy briefly before looking back at him. "Obviously, there was nothing to be concerned about."

He knew it; they were drawing conclusions. The conclusions were probably right, but the timing wasn't. Darcy was a hard woman to read. She was easy with her affections in a way that made him hesitant to assume she felt anything more for him than friendship and gratitude. But, he hoped. Oh god, how he hoped. Now was not the time though.

"Obviously. Although, I must ask why Darcy was flashing Dad her panties." To his amazement, his father chuckled a bit. It was Darcy who answered him though.

"Oh, I was just reenacting Risky Business. I thought they were the delivery guy. There was a severe lack of pants on my side – very rude. I've apologized though, and they don't seem to be holding a grudge." Oh. He'd seen Darcy do her Risky Business slide and was insanely jealous of his own father for a moment.

Wait a minute.

"You were going full Risky Business on the delivery guy?"

"Well yeah. My pants were all the way upstairs. And he's a _delivery guy_, it would have been like charity or something." She caught herself. "Wait, was that rude? Delivery people are an integral part of my life. So it was less charity and more like a tip. And I was assuming the transaction would last less than a minute."

"You and your 'less than a minute'. Well, alright, we'll table this discussion for now. But the pizza guy better not get a '9 ½ Weeks' reenactment or we're reopening negotiations." She laughed, which was his intention (and one of his life's goals). He turned back toward his father.

"Well, at least you can't say she didn't give you a warm welcome." His father raised an amused eyebrow.

"Indeed I can't. It was quite memorable. Good brandy and a flash of thigh are never unwelcome." His father was making _jokes_. Bad jokes, but still - Darcy was apparently a miracle-worker. Or her thighs were. Hmm…

He became distracted for a moment. Darcy's voice pulled him back to reality, "Your mom was just mentioning something about a party."

She was? Some of the nerves started creeping back in.

Oblivious, Darcy continued, "Apparently I'm invited. It sounds like a swanky affair – I'll have to buy a dress. I'll make sure it's a mini so your dad can feel welcome."

He turned to his mother, "Party?"

"Oh yes, well, it's Thor's birthday soon. He'll be 33 this year. And well…we had hoped that you might come?" Oh, now he understood. They had been wanting to catch him alone and make sure that he and his brother were alright. His mother looked uncomfortable but hopeful. He internally sighed.

"Oh, yes, of course. What day are you holding it?"

His mother's relief was palpable. "Saturday, the 23rd. If that works for you."

He thought a moment. "Yes, that's fine. I'll be there."

His mother turned to Darcy. "And how about you, dear? Will you come?"

Damn. There was no way to keep Darcy away from his brother if she was going to his bloody _birthday party_.

"Sure! I'd love to." Darcy and his mother were all smiles. Even his father looked happy.

Well, hell. He cared about Darcy. A lot. As in he possibly (probably…definitely) loved her. Thor was not winning this time. For once, Loki would get the girl.


	14. Chapter 14

Darcy hesitated in the doorway to the kitchen, watching Loki's profile and biting her lip.

After his parents left, she could tell that something was bothering him. She really hoped it wasn't something she did. He would be too polite to tell her if it was, anyway.

Still, she had to check.

"Loki? Umm…did I do something wrong?" He had been rinsing the dishes in the sink with a troubled expression on his face, but he quickly shifted his attention to her. He looked startled by her question.

"Wrong? Of course not. Why would you think that?" He looked genuinely confused, which made her feel a little better.

"You just seem…preoccupied. I wanted to make sure it wasn't something I did. I know I can be a little…weird, I guess, in certain situations. I was just making sure I didn't embarrass you in front of your parents. I swear, I didn't tell them we were dating or anything."

Loki's face still looked confused. He turned off the sink and absently dried his hands on a rag. "Why would you think I'd care if you told them we were dating?"

Say what? Umm, because they _weren't _dating and because she was Darcy and he was Loki and it was pretty freaking obvious that - as far as leagues were concerned - he was major and she was minor. If you were the stupidly rich and classy parents of someone like Loki, would you want a crazy, quasi-homeless girl involved with your son? Umm, no. But she wasn't sure how to tell him that without divulging her huge (no longer just a) crush on him. How did she get herself into these situations? Seriously, if she ever wrote an autobiography the title would be "Darcy Lewis: All Awkward, All the Time".

She realized he was still waiting for an answer, so she blurted, "Uh, I don't know. I mean, I'm kind of a squatter in your place right now. And making, like, no money at my shitty job. And I'm not exactly overburdened with an abundance of social graces. Or, you know, any sort of graces. And I'm no Helen of Troy beauty. I mean, you were with _Jane_, who could've been a model if the whole astrophysics thing didn't work out. I'm a glorified secretary with my mother's ass."

He was looking at her _really_ strangely, which was making her nervous and therefore making her babble.

"I mean, I didn't want them to think you're slumming it with some silly, little girl. Obviously, you belong with someone more…well, just _more_, I guess. More on the same level of hotness and impressiveness and all that."

Oh god, she couldn't stop talking – he was looking at her like she was speaking Hebrew. Maybe she _was_ speaking Hebrew?

"Not that I'm saying you're hot and impressive – I mean, you are, duh – it's just beside the point. The point was…wait, what was the point?"

Seriously, why was he looking at her like that? And why the hell wasn't he saying anything?

"Oh! I just didn't want you to think that I would say anything to your parents to make you uncomfortable. Trust me. I mean I didn't come right out and say anything directly – because how do you tell someone you're _not_ sleeping with their son – but I think they gathered I was some sort of charity case. The whole leagues thing, you know?"

Had she mentioned the leagues thing to him? Maybe not.

She clarified, "You're major, I'm minor. Like baseball."

This was a train wreck. She wanted a mulligan for the last minute of her life.

Embarrassed and frustrated, she finally snapped, "Are you mute? And why the hell are you looking at me like that?"

He blinked, seeming to come to some sort of internal decision. "Darcy, how do you feel about me?"

Oh shit. He interpreted her incoherent babbling and totally caught on to her more-than-friendly feelings for him. Save face! Abandon ship!

"Feel?" That's right, play dumb. He wouldn't break the heart of a dumb girl, he was way too nice.

He looked oddly desperate, "Darcy, are you in love with me?"

Oh fuck. Oh fuckity-fuck-fuck. This was not going to end well. She wanted to cry. He was going to let her down gently, but then everything would be awkward between them and she'd have to move out and find another best friend and why couldn't she just shut her stupid face? She was nearing the point of absolute hysteria. Her brain told her to call him a presumptuous bastard and then laugh it all off, but her mouth didn't get the memo.

Instead she practically yelled at him, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, I promise! You're just so amazing and nice and you were pretty much naked that one time and you smell soooo good and you make me laugh and I can't stop thinking about you. I didn't mean to fall in love with you, it was a total accident – you have to believe me. And I know you're too nice to mock me, but I'm gonna have to move out now and never talk to you again out of sheer mortification. And I know you could never love me back, but I just couldn't help-"

Her words were cut off by Loki's mouth. What? Wait, he was kissing her. Loki was _kissing_ her. And she wasn't doing anything. Rectify the situation, woman! She kissed him back with an eagerness that probably bordered on the pornographic, but she didn't care. Loki was kissing her! Maybe he was just trying to shut her up – or cheer her up – or something. She didn't care. She didn't care about anything as long as he didn't stop. But then he pulled back quickly, leaving her panting and trying to lean back in. No! Bad, Loki! Please, kissing, more, now. He was panting too, which was possibly sexier than the spider incident. Possibly.

"Darcy, I'm an idiot."

No he wasn't. Unless that kiss actually _had _been some way to let her down gently. In which case, they were both idiots.

"Umm…huh?" Eloquent as usual, she internally chided. But he was looking at her so intensely that it was hard to keep her head on straight.

He continued, "I should have told you the moment I realized, but I was a coward. God, Darcy. I love you. I love everything about you. You have no idea how hard it's been seeing you everywhere I turn and not being able to have you."

She pinched herself. Literally. It hurt like a mother, so she wasn't dreaming. And Loki wasn't cruel enough for this to be a joke. At least she _hoped_ he wasn't.

"Y-you love me?" Her voice was shaking right along with the rest of her body. Her whole world was shaking.

"Yes. Madly." Oh, wow. She must have saved a nun from a burning building in a past life for the sort of karmic payoff she was getting now. Thank you, God/Buddha/Allah/Oprah.

"Oh. Well, I was rambling, but I think somewhere in there I said that I loved you. But, just in case I didn't – I love you." His answering smile was a little shaky, too. For some reason, that made her feel so much better. "Can we go back to the kissing now?"

His answer was to seal his lips to hers. Best. Day. Ever.

His hands were starting to wander into interesting places, when he pulled back again. Her lips followed him forward like a magnet and he had to push her shoulders to get them to separate from his. He was talking again! Why was he talking again?

"Darcy, I know we live together. And I know I love you. And you said you loved me, too." He seemed like he was having trouble believing this whole mutual love thing himself. "But, this is really sudden in a way. And I don't want to pressure you."

Ah, she'd forgotten he was a gentleman when his tongue was in her mouth. She'd best clear things up for him, and she was too muddled to think of a coy way to say it. Blunt was more her style anyway.

"Loki, I love you. I've loved you for a while now - but I've wanted you forever. And right now I want you so bad I literally ache. Now, I don't know how comfortable you are with what I'm about to suggest. But, I feel you should know that I want nothing more than to rip your clothes off with my teeth and lick every inch of your body. Then, I want you to pound me into the mattress so hard that I forget my own name. Is that something you would be interested in?"

That was probably too much information - she hoped he didn't freak out on her. Breathless, she watched as his body tensed and his eyes darkened. Gentleman, her ass. She knew the dude had serious layers. She vaguely remembered thinking that he was probably kinky in bed – hopefully she was about to find out. Before she realized what was happening, his arm was behind her knees and he was lifting her off her feet and carrying her upstairs. Wow, he was stronger than he looked.

"Um, what are you doing?" Her voice was casual, but her heart was racing.

"I liked your proposal, but I want to make one or two amendments." Ooohhh, his voice was pure naughty. Yes, please. "I'm going to rip _your_ clothes off and then lick every inch of _your_ body before I fuck you so hard you forget every name but mine." Well, damn. She was so right about him being a kinky bastard. Sweet! This was like Christmas and her birthday and winning the lottery all at once.

Turned-on beyond comprehension, she struggled to form a coherent response.

"Sounds acceptable. But I'm a little skeptical. You think that you can do all that?"

He just smirked down at her. She felt like she was teasing a wild animal and for the first time realized that she might be in over her head with Loki. He was intense and complicated - but damn, she didn't give a flying fuck. You don't let something like this just slip away. Hmm...maybe she should send Jane some flowers for being such a colossal idiot. Seriously, she had _this_ and still went elsewhere? Why? No, seriously – _why_? Darcy had to remind herself about gift horses and mouths.

They reached his bedroom and he kicked the freaking door open (it hadn't been closed all the way, but still). Hot! Then he threw her none-too-gently on the bed. The smile he gave her when she bounced backwards on the mattress was devious and sexy-beyond-sexy. Her entire body was clenched in anticipation and she wanted to pinch herself again. Hadn't they been two platonic roommates eating lo mein with his parents less than an hour ago? The pessimistic side of her said that they would probably end up regretting moving this fast. But she could deal with that later. This felt too much like inevitability and destiny and all that hokey shit for her to even think about stopping. She had always second guessed everything - herself, her life choices, the people around her. But Loki? He was the only thing she'd ever really been sure of. Besides, it felt as if the last few months had been some kind of weird foreplay - ever since she hugged him in that coffee shop and realized that she didn't want to ever let go.

She lost her train of thought (and any lingering reservations) when Loki pulled his shirt over his head and then slowly kneeled on the bed, his knee between her spread thighs. He leaned over her as if to kiss her, but pulled back at the last second. Tease. The passion on his face cleared for a moment.

"Darcy, sweetheart. Later I'm going to make love to you the way you deserve. It will be gentle and beautiful, I promise." The naughty smile slid back onto his face. "But right now, I believe you questioned my ability to make you scream. My silly, sweet girl. Let me see what I can do about your short term memory."

He was true to his word. Within minutes, the only name she could remember was Loki's. Loki. Loki. Loki! LOKI! LLLOOOOKKKIIII! Fuck.


	15. Chapter 15

His hand was numb. Why was his hand numb?

Something was tickling his stomach. Something warm. What the…

Oh.

Suddenly everything came back to him in a rush of sweat and moans and bliss.

Darcy.

He cracked his eyes open, wincing at the sunlight leaking in through his half-drawn curtains. It occurred to him that the building across the street could probably see into his window, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Let them enjoy the view. Hell, the memories from last night were so bloody hot that he almost wished someone had been watching just for the bragging rights.

Damn, he hadn't been that inventive in his lovemaking since college. Darcy brought out the beast in him. And he'd never scoff at her yoga tapes again – dear god, she was limber. With a fond grin, he finally looked down at the girl sprawled across his torso. She was laying horizontally across the bed, head pillowed just beneath his ribcage. The blankets must have been littering his floor, so he had an unobstructed view of her body. Luscious – that was the word for it. She was facing him with her knees crooked towards him and pinning down his hand. So _that_ was why he couldn't feel it. Small price to pay for the view she was currently presenting him with. He wished he was a better poet because someone should be writing sonnets about her breasts.

He watched as her nose twitched and her head shifted dangerously down his body. Fuck. It would be fairly awkward if she woke up because his hard-on hit her in the back of the head. But knowing her, she'd probably just laugh.

Damn, he felt lighter than he had in years – buoyant even. He hadn't realized how monotonous and solitary his life had been until she waltzed in and filled up all the empty spaces he never noticed were there. She truly was his best friend. And now his lover.

The insecure part of him worried that last night would end up being a mistake. Not for him, obviously – but she could wake up regretting it. He tried to hold on to the memory of her telling him that she loved him. After the first amazing confessions, they had reaffirmed their love for each other throughout the night - whispered against the hollow of her throat, moaned into his ear, grunted into her hair, screamed into the night. In the stillness of that first moment he was inside her, the sincerity in her voice when she whispered it against his lips would linger in his memory forever.

She couldn't regret last night – he simply wouldn't let her. Impatient and worried, he slid his free hand down so that he could smooth her hair back from her face. Cupping her cheek, his thumb lazily and gently slid across her lower lip. And she said she was no Helen of Troy. Foolish girl. He would fight a hundred wars for her smile.

Her brow furrowed and he fought the urge to guiltily pull his hand back. Instead, he continued tracing her lips until he felt a smile form beneath his thumb. Suddenly, her lips parted and she sucked the digit into her mouth, swirling her tongue around it in a pantomime of something far naughtier. He couldn't help his body's reaction and her eyes shot open. She stared at him, gaze unfocused and mouth slightly parted. He wanted to apologize, but she sat up slightly so that she could look backwards at what had just smacked her in the head. She paused for a few seconds and then her shoulders started shaking. She looked back at his chagrined face and couldn't hold in her laughter anymore. She collapsed onto his chest giggling and breathless until he had to join in. He'd called it – she just laughed it off.

"Well good morning to you, too," her voice was warm and happy and laced with laughter. The ache in his chest eased. There would be no regrets.

He smirked down at her, "I would apologize, but some saucy minx was fellating my finger." She giggled and he couldn't stop himself from grabbing her by the shoulders and tugging her upwards into his arms.

"Kinky," she murmured, sliding her arms up his chest.

He wanted to linger in the contentment of the moment, but he needed to confirm something.

"You know that I love you, don't you sweetheart?"

She understood immediately what he was really asking and her eyes were serious as she nodded, "Yes, baby. I love you too."

His smile was instantaneous. He crushed her to his chest while she giggled.

Smirking into her hair, he simply had to ask, "Did you just call me baby?"

She pulled back. "Yup, I have to find you a schmoopy pet name. I guess it's safe to admit that my panties become magnetized to the ground every time you call me sweetheart. Seriously, they keep trying to slide right off my body. It's so weird."

He groaned a bit, sliding his face forward into her neck and giving it a little nip. "You can't tell me things like that right now. I'm in a delicate condition." He emphasized said condition by rocking it against her hip.

"Yeah, you're real delicate," she snorted shaking her head. Then she paused with a thoughtful expression on her face. "Actually, I'm the delicate one right now."

"Hmm?"

"I'm a little sore, cowboy. It was a rough night at the rodeo," she said with a smile.

He immediately sat up, looking concerned. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't…I should have been more gentle with you."

She started laughing and muttering something about 'gentlemen'.

Sobering, she looked him in the eye, "Loki, it's a good thing. Seriously, it's a very good thing." She could tell he was unconvinced so she changed her tactics. "At any point last night did I seem unenthusiastic? Sometime between the 'harder, harder' and the 'faster, faster,' did I ask for a time-out? No, I quite clearly remember begging you for more."

She gave him an impish grin, leaning in to whisper in his ear, "I actually like being sore. It reminds me of how you felt inside of me last night." She nipped his earlobe. "Which was very, very good in case you were wondering."

He groaned, gently tugging her back by the hair until they were face-to-face. "You're devious." Then he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "But I am sorry you're sore. Even if you obviously enjoyed yourself. Vocally. Several times."

"That I did. You know, you're very generous. I think it's my turn to be the giver."

Before he could figure out what she meant by that, she was sliding down his body with a Cheshire grin playing about her lips. Frozen, he watched as she gripped him, stroking gently. Oh. Wow. Then her clever tongue started doing magnificent things. Truly epic things.

Oh yeah, he loved this woman.


	16. Chapter 16

Darcy smirked at the text message she had just received from Loki: "Why were your panties in my briefcase, sweetheart?"

She was glad he finally noticed. After a weekend of life-altering confessions and general debauchery, the arrival of Monday really sucked. At least Loki actually liked his job. Still, she hadn't wanted to let him go without a little something to remember her by.

She keyed in a reply: "So that's where they went! They were my last clean pair. I had to do without today. Miss you, love crumpet!"

She still hadn't decided upon the perfect nickname for her man, but he was amused by her efforts. Love crumpet might be a keeper. She had called him 'Daddy' when she kissed him goodbye on the sidewalk this morning and a woman with a jogging stroller looked kinda scandalized. Whatever.

Her phone chimed. She smiled at the one-word message splayed across the screen: "Vixen." Yeah, she kinda was. Loki brought out the nympho in her. She had dressed in her sluttiest office wear today – that pencil skirt he loved and a tight red blouse unbuttoned just one little button too far. And her sexybitch pumps, of course.

Darcy pulled the coffeehouse door open and inhaled the sweet, sweet smell of liquid happiness. Today was definitely a caramel macchiato day. And because she was the best girlfriend ever, she would bring her man a treat for once. Reciprocity was pretty much the key to any healthy relationship. Well, reciprocity and orgasms.

After picking up her order from the hipster-chic barista, she made her way towards campus. Since she'd walked this route many times in her college days, her feet moved on autopilot while she mentally tallied the awkward names she had already tried out on Loki.

Daddy. Stud. Pookie. Snookums. Pumpkin. Oh, and Mr. Cuddles!

Suddenly, she found herself in front of the science building. A weird feeling of déjà vu settled over her. Luckily the building was pretty massive and Jane's office was on a different floor. That would have been an awkward meeting.

She chatted with the guard for a few minutes before excusing herself – she only had an hour lunch break and she wanted to spend as much time as possible with Loki. Alone. And she wasn't wearing any panties. Hmm…

Contemplating how thick the walls in his office were – she wasn't so good at the whole quiet thing – she didn't notice the other person stepping into the elevator behind her.

"Darcy?"

Motherfucker!

Seriously, what were the odds? Well, since they were both in the same building she knew it wasn't exactly unlikely that they'd run into each other. But still…

"Jane. Hi."

Darcy willed the elevator to move faster, but the gods weren't smiling down on her today as it stopped on the second floor and a woman stepped in. Seriously, people? Take the damn stairs!

"What are you doing here?" Jane's voice was curious. She'd gotten a haircut – a short, pixie bob that made her stunning face look even more stunning. Bitch.

But Loki was with _her_ now. And Jane was an idiot. A pretty idiot, just like Thor. They really deserved each other.

She decided to go with honesty, "Bringing Loki some coffee. Well, trading really. He's got my panties."

The elevator stopped at the third floor and the other woman in the car stepped out with a startled look in Darcy's direction. _One_ floor? Lazy asshole.

"_Loki_? You're…friends?"

The incredulity in Jane's voice made Darcy want to bash a folding chair over her head Jerry Springer-style and yell, "That's my man now, bitch!"

Feeling naughty (and maybe a little vindictive on Loki's behalf), Darcy replied, "Yup. We're friends. Of the 'with benefits' variety. Didn't you know? We've been living together for, like, months."

The elevator door opened on the fourth floor – Jane's floor –but she didn't move.

"You and Loki are _living_ together?"

Darcy stuck her hip out to hold the door open.

"Yup. You know this is your floor, right?"

Jane looked stunned. This was actually kinda fun! Darcy felt like giggling. She wondered if this was what Loki felt like when he told Jane that Thor was a horndog. That was probably even _more_ satisfying. Lucky Loki.

"Right. Yes, thanks. This is my floor."

Jane still didn't leave the damn car. The elevator door kept trying to close on Darcy's ass – it was gonna leave a bruise. Whatever, Jane can push the damn buttons herself. Darcy stepped back into the elevator and let the door close. Just two more floors of awkward and then she was home free.

"_You're_ dating Loki?"

Had Jane always been this slow on the uptake? Maybe she had gotten dumber since the last time Darcy saw her.

The elevator slowly moved upwards again. Sweet lord, this was like that episode of The Twilight Zone where they get on the elevator and never get off.

Giving up, Darcy just said, "Yes, I'm dating him. Yes, we're living together. Yes, we had sex four times in the past 24 hours. That thing he does with his tongue – I'm sure you remember – well I was hoping to get a repeat of that right now. Any more questions?"

The doors opened. The words 'Chemistry Department' embossed on the plaque in front of her were a veritable miracle. Salvation! Darcy practically jumped out of the elevator.

"It was great seeing you again, Jane. I like your hair." The elevator doors closed silently on Jane's bug-eyed expression.

Humming to herself, Darcy headed toward the main desk area. She'd never actually been to Loki's office before. The elderly woman behind the desk looked her up and down as she approached, her face slightly pinched and disapproving.

"Do you need something?"

Wow, Surly Sue – who pissed in your cornflakes this morning? She wasn't dressed _that_ slutty –it wasn't like anyone could tell she was going commando.

"I'm looking for Professor Odinson."

Suddenly it occurred to Darcy that she was dating a professor. Her mother's words about plaid skirts and naughty detentions popped into her head.

Idea. Stupid idea. Crazy idea.

She really needed to find out how thick the walls in Loki's office were. Maybe she could ask this lady?

"602."

The woman looked away quickly, dismissing her. Bitch, please. Hoping she wouldn't get Loki in trouble, she leaned across the desk flashing Old Mother Hubbard a fabulous view of her assets.

"Do you know how thick the walls are here? I mean, how loud could two people get before someone heard them?"

The woman practically choked.

With an angelic face, she continued, "I have such a loud voice and I wouldn't want to disturb anyone when I run through my article on the Active Galactic Nucleus in Professor Odinson's office. He's going to help me look at it from a different perspective. Do you know anything about the Big Bang theory?"

The woman blinked, then stammered, "Oh. I see. The Active…yes. Well, the walls here are very thick. I can never hear anything from out here." Perfect.

"Thank you!"

She sauntered down the hallway, winking at the janitor as she passed. He looked a little dazed. Damn, she felt good.

The door to room 602 was open and a little plaque with Loki's name was next to it. She could hear voices coming from within. She peeked into the room. Loki was sitting at his desk, talking to what appeared to be a student. He was gesturing with his hands and smiling at the young man seated across from him. She wasn't sure why she found him so hot right now – but she did.

She listened as he finished up with the boy. He really was a great teacher. Part of her wished she had taken one of his classes, but the rest of her thought that might be just one step too far down the kinky ladder. A few minutes later, the student started leaving and stopped short when he saw Darcy in the doorway. She smiled at the look on his face. He smiled back and quickly walked around her as Loki's voice rang out, "Darcy?"

"Hey, tiger. I brought _you_ coffee. How's that for a change? Regular, black, one sugar."

He smiled as he got up from the desk and started walking towards her. She handed the beverage over.

"Thank you, sweetheart. You didn't have to do that. You're going to waste your whole lunch break."

He leaned down and gave her a brief kiss. As he started to pull back, she grabbed his shirt and slipped him a little tongue. She could feel him smile against her lips even as he groaned a bit. Satisfied, she finally let him pull back.

"It's probably a good idea to close this before I get fired. I haven't gotten tenure yet." He shut the door to his office and flipped the lock.

Darcy blinked, "Oh! That reminds me. If the crabby bitch at the desk says anything about me, just tell her that I've really got an interesting perspective on the Big Bang theory."

He looked justifiably confused, "The Big Bang Theory? Like the show?"

She giggled, "No, like the scientific theory. She was judging me."

"But I don't teach anything about the Big Bang theory." He looked torn between confusion and amusement.

"I was improvising. I actually know a little bit about astrophysics, but chemistry is beyond me."

He pulled her backwards toward his desk, "What exactly am I supposed to be helping you with?"

"My article. I told you I was improvising."

He shook his head with a small smile , "Your article. I see. Well, it's not really my area of expertise, but let's see if I can help anyway. Hmm…the Big Bang theory is about how the universe was created, right? How the very stars were formed."

He put down his coffee and then sat in his desk chair, pulling her into his lap.

"Stars are pretty."

He smiled, "So are you. How much time do we have before you need to leave?"

She checked her watch with a pout, "Ten minutes. Fifteen if I hustle."

A slow smile slid onto Loki's lips, making butterflies start fluttering in Darcy's belly.

"That'll be fine. How do you feel about a hands-on demonstration of the Big Bang, sweetheart?"

Huh? What the hell was he talking….oh. His right hand started slowly easing up the inside of her thigh. Since her skirt was crazy tight, the fabric hooked on his wrist and traveled upward with his hand.

Oh, the Big _Bang_. Loki used geeky sex puns? Why was she so turned on by this?

He continued, "It's all about density and compression."

His hand finally reached its destination and she felt him freeze.

"Fuck, Darcy. You're really not wearing any panties."

She wanted to giggle at his shock, but his fingers started to tease and stroke before two slowly slid inside of her. She moaned, biting her lip.

His voice was gentle in her ear, "Once upon a time, the universe was supposedly very dense and very, very hot."

His thumb pressed down on her most sensitive spot and she let out a startled gasp.

"And pressure built and built…"

He pressed harder, rubbing a bit.

"Making everything contract into a tight mass of energy."

His thumb continued rubbing circles as his fingers slid in and out.

After a torturous minute of relentless naughtiness on her lady parts, Loki started speaking again in a lower register, "The pressure builds, the tension builds, the heat builds."

His fingers moved faster. So good. So fucking good.

"Until everything just explodes."

She was close. He leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Now let me know if you see stars."

His voice and his hand and…fuck!

She totally saw stars. If someone had told her that the world had actually ended and been reborn in that moment, she probably would've believed them.

It took her a minute to catch her breath. Panting - and a little mortified at how quickly he was able to do that to her – she turned her head to place a shaky kiss on his jaw.

He smiled down at her gently, "You've got three and a half minutes to right yourself, sweetheart."

She couldn't help the little laugh that bubbled up. Breathless, she answered, "It doesn't really matter. I don't think I'm going to be very useful for a while."

"I would apologize, but I'd hate to be disingenuous. I'm not really sorry. But sit up a bit." His hand slid back down her thigh and he lifted her off of him and dropped her back in the chair. He absently sucked his two magic fingers into his mouth before reaching into his briefcase – did he not realize how hot that was?

His hand emerged with her little green panties. Oh. Good idea. He pulled her upright, then slid to his knees in front of her – that was a view she could get used to – and helped her step into her panties, pulling them up for her and then smoothing her stupidly tight skirt down over her shaking thighs.

Still kneeling, he asked, "Did you get all the information you needed for your article?"

Deadpan, she replied, "I certainly feel enlightened. But I'm not sure I really got everything. I might need to have a refresher course tonight."

He stood up, towering over her even with her heels, "Sounds like a plan. I'll pick up dinner."

How domestic were they? Oh that reminded her, "Actually, I won't be home until a little later tonight. I'm going to stop by that swanky dress shop and pick up something for the party."

He looked confused, "Party?"

"Umm…yeah. Your bro's birthday. Your mom invited me, remember?" A troubled look ghosted across Loki's face before he could pull it back into something more neutral.

A thought occurred to her, "Unless you don't want me to go. I'd completely understand. You can just say I got sick or something."

"No! Don't be ridiculous. Of course I want you to be there. I always want you to be wherever I am. It's just…damn, I'm being irrational – I want you there. I promise. Go buy yourself a pretty frock so you can flirt with my father some more. Because that wasn't even a little bit horrifying the first time around."

She lightly smacked his chest, finally starting to feel like she might actually be able to function again. The clock on the wall behind him caught her attention.

"Oh shit! I really have to run if I'm going to make it back without getting chewed out. I'll see you tonight, Honeybear!"

She gave him the fastest kiss they'd yet to share and literally ran out the door.

The old bag at the desk stopped her as she hurried passed, "Was Professor Odinson able to help you?"

Smirking, she replied, "Oh yes. That man certainly knows his way around black holes." She fought back a naughty giggle – was science always so dirty? "And he agrees that inflation cures the horizon problem. I'd love to chat, but I'm late for a meeting so I really have to run. It was lovely meeting you."

She didn't bother waiting for a reply and hurried to the elevator. It was just as slow going down as it was coming up, but at least this time she was alone.

When she made it back to the office only a few minutes late, she preempted any punishment by putting her hand on her lower stomach and making a pained face as soon as her boss started walking towards her. Then she pulled out the Midol bottle she kept in her desk for just this purpose. Her chauvinist pig of a boss turned white, spun back around and practically sprinted to his office. He never even mentioned her lack of punctuality.

All in all, thought Darcy, that was the best lunch break ever.


	17. Chapter 17

Loki was trying to relax. He and Darcy had been at his brother's party for over an hour and the world had yet to stop turning. He'd introduced Darcy to his brother with the same amount of enthusiasm one has upon getting a colonoscopy (well his brother _was _a pain in the ass). Still, it seemed to be going alright. Thor had smiled with delight upon learning that Loki had brought someone. After a few unnecessary jibes ("Just how old is she, Loki? Does she need a fake ID to go out with you? Rocking the cradle of love, little brother?"), Darcy excused herself to go talk to his mother and she hadn't left his mom's side since. Thank god.

Loki had been drawn into a conversation with his father's associate (who just didn't know when to shut up) and suddenly realized that he had lost sight of his entire family. And Darcy. That didn't sit particularly well with him. Not that he didn't trust Darcy – he truly did. It was just hard not to let doubt creep in with his track record. He excused himself and went to look for his girl.

He poked his head into the rooms he passed and stopped short when he caught sight of his parents in the study. They were standing close together, and he thought for a moment that they were enjoying a little romantic solitude, but he realized they were silently watching something. He leaned further into the room trying to see what was so fascinating.

What the hell was _that_?

Loki's whole body froze, the blood turning to ice in his veins. His parents were watching the mirror on the door to the library, which was showing a very clear reflection of his brother and his girlfriend. His smirking brother and his laughing girlfriend. And Thor was leaning into Darcy in a way that made him truly understand why some people committed fratricide. He was going to kill them – Thor for doing this _again_, Darcy for letting him, and his fucking parents for standing there watching it. He knew he should have told her that dress didn't look right (it did – she was a fucking goddess in it). But it was like waving a red flag in front of a bull – an idiotic, testosterone-infused bull.

His mother finally caught sight of him and her eyes widened. To his surprise, she didn't look particularly upset or sympathetic. In fact, she looked downright amused. That was either very cold of her or he wasn't grasping something. She gestured for him to come closer, so he did as stealthily as possible. From his vantage point over his mother's shoulder, he could see Darcy's face more clearly and he strained to make out her voice. She was still laughing.

"Dude, you can't really be this dense. It has to be an act. Loki cannot have a brother this slow. And stop smirking, you idiot! I'm laughing _at_ you, not _with_ you."

Wait, what? Maybe he had been hasty in his assessment of the situation.

Thor answered Darcy using what he'd tragically dubbed as his 'panty-dropper' voice, "You _are_ amusing. I can see why my brother is so taken with you. I just can't see what the attraction is for you. You're a sexy, young woman. He was born middle-aged. Aren't you just the slightest bit bored? The man wouldn't know how to let loose with a gun to his head."

Ouch. That actually hurt. He genuinely wanted to know what Darcy's response to that would be. He supposed he _was_ somewhat staid – and she was a force of nature.

"Loki? Seriously? _Boring_?" She started laughing again. "Well, to be fair, I'm gonna assume you've never slept with him. So just to inform you – Loki is never, ever boring. Ever. And you'd be surprised at just how loose he can get." She tilted her head thoughtfully. "He's surprisingly flexible for such a tall guy."

He loved Darcy. This was awkward (god, his parents were _right there_), but it was wonderful. He _loved_ that woman.

"Oh, come on. I'm impressed by your display of loyalty for my little brother – but we both know you need a man with more…imagination."

"Let me guess – _you_ are the imaginative guy I've been missing in my life?" Her voice was deceptively innocent. Thor's smirk widened.

"Well, I do know how to show a woman a good time."

Darcy's voice was tinged with disbelief, "You really are a piece of work. Freud would jizz in his pants at the idea of looking into your inflated head." Oh, Darcy.

She continued, "Let me put this in a way even you can't misunderstand. I will _never_ sleep with you. Ever. Even if the rest of humanity dies tomorrow in some sort of freaky worldwide disaster, and you and I procreating is the only hope for the survival of the human race – I would rather masturbate to the memory of your brother than go anywhere near your man parts. Seriously. I would rather die of the plague – or be raped by a cactus – or get gonorrhea of the fucking _eye_ – than to ever touch you." She gave Thor a mocking smile. "Am I clear?"

Part of Loki wanted to go bury himself in a big hole (his _mother _heard that), but the rest of him was too busy making internal fist-bumps and composing spontaneous poetry about how much he fucking _loved _that crazy girl.

"You certainly are a feisty one. I like that."

Loki could only shake his head. Seriously, Thor?

"Seriously, dude? Do I need to use interpretive dance to get it through your thick skull? Let me try using smaller words." She gestured toward herself. "Me, Darcy." Then she pointed to Thor. "You, Thor." She slid her finger into a hole she made in her other hand in a gesture he wished his mother couldn't see. "Sexy times?" She emphatically shook her head. "Never gonna happen. Was that any clearer?"

For the first time, Thor seemed to be at a genuine loss, "You're serious, aren't you?"

"When it comes to Loki, yeah. As serious as you can get." Her face lost some of its sarcastic expression. "Look, Thor. I love your brother. Like, crazy Hallmark card, physically hurts thinking about spending my life without him, major love. And he literally blows my fucking mind in bed. Like _wow_. So, yeah. I'm serious."

He wanted to go in there and kiss the words off her lips and tell her that she was echoing his own emotions.

Thor answered slowly, "Well, I suppose for once – Loki has actually found a woman who deserves him."

What, now?

"I'm working on it. He's kinda perfect. I mean, not _perfect_, but even his imperfections are turn-ons for me. So…yeah. I think with some serious work, I could actually deserve him in, like, a year or two. Maybe three. For some reason, he still believes in you and loves you. That kind of naiveté and unconditional love is somewhat awe-inspiring. I mean, if I had a sister who took a ride on every guy I dated – I'm pretty sure I would have shanked her with a rusty blade by now. So, I have to work on the whole magnanimous thing." She cocked her head. "Come to think of it, you could work on that with me. Maybe with some serious groveling…and therapy…and possibly a vasectomy, you could become a better person too! And then we could both be the kind of people Loki deserves to have in his life."

Now Loki was the one who was speechless. His beautiful girl thought _she_ was the unworthy one? He would disabuse her of that ridiculous notion at the first possible moment.

Thor answered, "I think somewhere in there you told me I needed therapy."

"Selective hearing, too. Awesome. But, yeah. At least I hope you do. I'd like to think that you have some sort of narcissistic personality disorder coupled with a sex addiction. Otherwise, you're just an asshole."

Thor put his hand on Darcy's shoulder, "You know, I was just trying to make sure the women Loki was with actually deserved him. He deserves to be valued." He actually sounded sincere.

"You know, if I actually believed you, that would be the saddest thing I ever heard. And stop doing the smolder thing at me. I'm sure it's been effective in the past – oh, I'm not a douche, I'm just misunderstood, I love my brother, blah blah blah – but I remain immune. And seriously, if you don't remove your hand from my person, I'll remove it from _your_ person. With a pocketknife." Thor slowly took his hand off her.

"You doubt my love for my brother?"

"No. Not your love, I guess. I mean, he's Loki. Even an oblivious idiot like you has to love him. What I doubt is that you banged his girlfriends for any reason other than that you could. I mean, I can't really think of any other altruistic test that involves your penis. Just saying."

Thor had nothing to say to that. Good. His girl was an icy-cold Valkyrie doling out overdue justice. He wanted to rip her panties off. Parents, Loki! Parents!

"Now, Thor. I'd like to move past this. I'm not going anywhere. Unless Loki puts out a restraining order on me, I'm gonna be all over him like static cling for the foreseeable future. And he loves you. Inexplicably. So, we're gonna have to get along for his sake. Now I'm not gonna mention this little conversation to him – I don't want to be the one to reconfirm the fact that he has the shittiest brother since Cain. So what say we shake hands – ok, no, I don't want to actually _touch_ you because I might catch something –but let's have ourselves a mental handshake and move on. Why don't you put me in the same category as you put your mom – she's a foxy lady that I truly hope you don't wanna bang. And if I'm wrong about that, please don't enlighten me."

She stepped around Thor, her back facing the door and blocking Loki's view of both their faces. "Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm going to go find Loki and drag him out of here. You've made me seriously upset and I'm pretty sure the only thing that'll help is if your brother puts his tongue on certain key areas of my body. I'd say it was a pleasure meeting you, but the whole making-myself-a-better-person-so-I-deserve-your-brother thing precludes lying to his blood relatives. So – it was real. I'll see you later. Hopefully, much, much later."

She turned around and started walking towards them shaking her head. He wasn't quite sure what to do (it wasn't like there was anywhere to hide), so he just stood there next to his parents looking dazed. And happy. She froze at the sight of them, her eyes wide. Then she looked back at the doorway she'd just walked through and made a distressed noise.

"Loki! Sweetie, you scared me! Umm…and Anthony and Rene. Always a pleasure." She was noticeably uncomfortable. "How long have you guys been standing there?"

He answered before his parents could get a word in, "Long enough. And it's time to leave."

She looked embarrassed and confused, "Leave? _Now_?"

He figured as far as sexual talk was concerned, the damage had already been done to his parents. There was no point in playing coy. Fuck it.

"Yes, right now. You mentioned something about my tongue, so unless you'd rather I go down on you in my parents' house we should probably leave. Right now. You know I'm not the one who has an issue with exhibitionism."

He didn't look at his parents. He just stared at his girl, whose eyes had gone wide and mouth had dropped open a bit. He wanted to laugh and cry and dance. Instead, he opted for a somewhat more dramatic option. He bent down at the waist and threw her over his shoulder before she realized what he was intending to do. She let out a little startled scream when her feet left the floor. When he straightened, he could see his brother watching them from the doorway.

He turned to his parents, "Mother, Father – I must apologize. I don't think Darcy is feeling too well. I think it's best if I take her home to bed. Happy Birthday, Thor." He turned and walked from the room with Darcy banging on his back and shouting at him to put her down.

As he walked away, he could just make out his mother's voice over Darcy's clamor.

"He gets that from you, dear."

His father answered, "Yes, he does. And his good taste in women." Well, he couldn't argue with that.

He walked by a few confused party stragglers as quickly as possible. He had to get home immediately– he was a man on a mission. He had to show Darcy just how much he appreciated and loved her – and how _he _was the unworthy one. And he had to do it with his tongue. His life really did seem blessed.


	18. Chapter 18

Apparently Loki was filthy rich. Well, she already knew he owned the whole building they lived in and that it was gorgeous and worth more than she would likely _ever_ earn in her entire life. But she hadn't quite grasped just how disgustingly, outrageously wealthy his family was. Seriously. Jane had been right to call his parents' place a castle – they had a butler (an actual butler!) and the monstrosity of a house looked like something Prince William would move into if he decided Buckingham Palace wasn't quite big enough. Soooo rich.

She felt ridiculously out of place, like a child playing dress up in her mother's heels and pearls. Outwardly, she knew she looked ok – the dress was stunning and she spent an entire month's salary on it (because she could since she didn't have to, you know, pay rent or anything). The look Loki gave her when she came out of the bedroom and found him pacing in front of the fireplace – well, suffice it to say, she _knew_ she looked good.

That didn't help her feel any more relaxed though. It just hammered home the fact that she didn't deserve Loki. Not really. Yeah, he was complicated and proud, and she knew there were some serious family issues lurking in his past - and he had a dark side which had the potential to seriously scare and/or damage her. But, still. She really didn't deserve him. Because in addition to the baggage he came with, he was also so generous with her. Not just financially - although obviously he was that too - but emotionally. She could tell he was a man who liked to keep himself in check, his thoughts and emotions hiding beneath a perfect poker face and clever wit. But, with her he was completely open. For some reason, he let her in and everything she discovered about him was amazing and broken and beautiful. She just wanted to spend the rest of her life getting to learn about him a little more every day. Hopefully, that would be something he was interested in too.

She knew he had serious issues with his brother. There was the whole Jane thing, which she tried not to think about. And from his little 'apology' to the stupid cow, Darcy gathered that Thor had a tendency to go after his girlfriends. He was probably exaggerating when he said it had happened five or six times, but she knew Loki usually manipulated truth without outright lying – so it _had _happened before. Probably more than once. She was ready though. Thor could be Brad Pitt circa Thelma and Louise, with the charm of James freaking Bond, and she would be impervious. He wasn't Loki. Enough said.

When they arrived at the party, the parentals were really nice to her and the few random people she met were all genuine smiles interspersed with the occasional condescending look. Smooth sailing. Then the blond behemoth himself sauntered up and introduced himself. She understood why Jane's panties went slip'n'slide for the guy – he was physically flawless – but she was unimpressed. He made a few somewhat inappropriate jokes (yes, Loki was almost a decade older than her, big deal). And he winked at her a few too many times; held her hand just a bit longer than was necessary for a handshake. But, nothing too overt. Maybe she wasn't his type? Wouldn't that be wonderful _and_ convenient? She wanted Thor to like her, but not _like_ her. Loki was the most important thing in her life, and Thor was his brother. She would do whatever it took to make sure that Loki was happy – so she'd make nice with the brother who didn't deserve it.

She had spoken to Rene for a while, watching Loki out of the corner of her eye. He seemed caught up in a conversation with a tall, broad man with a beard and a truly huge plate of food. He was also making his polite smile and half-nod, which she knew meant he was bored out of his mind. Maybe it was _her_ turn to rescue _him_? She excused herself from Rene and started making her way across the room to Loki.

Before she'd gone even five feet, she was intercepted by a moderately attractive man with truly appalling facial hair. Was that a mustache? Did he lose a bet? She knew that he was introducing himself and probably asking her questions, but she was too distracted by the lip warmer to generate more than a few noncommittal (and probably incoherent) responses. He suddenly smiled at her and it made the unfortunate 'stache look like a wiggly caterpillar.

She was gonna laugh.

She was gonna laugh literally in his face – _about_ his face.

What if this man was important to Loki? She had to excuse herself before she offended someone potentially important to him. So she blurted out something about a bathroom and practically ran from the room. She was already giggling as she ducked into the hallway, so she found the nearest open door and closed it behind her. Once she was in control of her inappropriate laughter, she noticed she was in some sort of study. Oh, rich people and their studies. She bet they had a conservatory. Oh, they could have Clue-themed parties! That would be freaking awesome!

She wondered where the other door in the room went. Opening it slowly revealed a shitload of books. Apparently, they had their own library. Somehow, she wasn't surprised. The Clue idea was slowly becoming a reality. She wondered if Loki would find it amusing or embarrassing. Maybe he would play with her! She was distracted by the idea of finally getting to be Miss Scarlet, when a masculine voice rang out behind her.

Fuck. Thor. And she was alone in a room with him that was at least another room and an entire hallway away from anyone else. Would anyone hear her screaming? Probably not. Loki should have let her bring the taser.

Then he started hitting on her completely shamelessly. It was mortifying. And infuriating. She was his _brother's_ girlfriend! What an asshat! He didn't really seem malicious though, so the taser would be unnecessary. Just horny and stupid and oddly jealous – which she understood. Loki was obviously the more attractive, smarter, more charismatic brother. Not that she was biased or anything.

She let him run through his spiel, which consisted of smirking and complimenting and insinuating. She figured she might as well let him get it all out now, so when she rejected him he wouldn't have any more ammunition up his sleeves. Then he made a comment about how she was being so quiet, and he was sure he could make her get loud – so she figured that was her cue. And she got loud. And kinda mean. But he just wasn't understanding that she was actually rejecting him. She was like a modern day Lizzie Bennett and Thor was her Mr. Collins. Hmm…did that make Loki Mr. Darcy? Hah! If they got married, he could take her name (well, her first name) and actually _be_ Mr. Darcy! Talk about meta. Before she could flesh out the idea, Thor was talking again. And he was using some sort of deep, Barry White voice.

He couldn't be this dense. Loki was a brilliant man and intuitive in an almost scary way. Either one of them was adopted or Thor was pretending. She refused him again, quite colorfully.

He still remained undaunted.

So, he wasn't pretending. He _was_ just that dense. Fuck. How was she going to make him understand that she would never, ever, ever cheat on Loki? Not with him. Not even with Keanu Reeves circa Speed. Well…no! Not even then. She was going to have to use the Tarzan method (there was a 'Jane' joke lurking in there somewhere).

After literally spelling it out for him with hand gestures and small words, Thor finally seemed to understand that her lady parts were a no-go area for him. Thank god. And he started to act all sincere and smoldery, like sweeps week on a soap opera. She knew that game – she wasn't falling for it. So she made it clear: she loved Loki and she wasn't going to leave him. Ever. Maybe she was a little vulgar, but he seemed to respond best to her rejections when she mentioned how gratifying her sex life was with his brother. She wouldn't even try to puzzle that one out.

She may have gotten a little maudlin, but she blamed it on the fact that she didn't really have any girlfriends she could do the customary giggle/fret session over her love-life with – Loki kinda _was_ her best friend. With benefits. Lots and lots of benefits. So, when she excused herself she was genuinely upset and did need Loki to do inappropriate things to her to make her forget the entire Thor thing ever happened. However, she did _not_ expect to find Loki standing there with his freaking _parents_! They had to have heard. Oh god. She was pretty sure she had mentioned masturbation. In front of his _mother_! Oh god!

Then he said something wildly inappropriate and embarrassingly arousing and…holy shit! She could _not_ believe he said that in front of his parents! But, no, he totally did! And suddenly her feet weren't on the ground and she had a fantastic (if upside-down) view of Loki's ass. The gray slacks were a good choice. Wait, this was embarrassing! Right? Yes, she should be embarrassed! And as he carried her out of there, she kinda was. But, she was even more horny, so she only put up a half-hearted resistance.

He dropped her into the front seat of his rarely used but totally sexy car. Then he was beside her and looking at her like she was Little Red and he was the Big Bad Wolf. Huff puff, baby.

"Sit on your fucking hands." His voice was rough and the words made very little sense, but she obeyed immediately. Then she thought about it.

"Why?"

He smirked in a deliciously evil way, "Because if you so much as accidently brush my leg, I'm going to take you on the shoulder of the freeway. So, be a good little girl and don't make a sound until we get home."

Oh. Well, when he put it that way.

Actually, she kinda wanted to disobey him just to see if he actually _would_ screw her in the middle of midtown traffic. Judging by the clenching of his jaw, she didn't want to risk ending up arrested for indecent exposure. But, oh, it was tempting.

He broke quite a few traffic laws, but she couldn't bring herself to care. The ride was tense and completely silent; she could feel the anticipation building. Finally, they were in the driveway and he bounded out and around the car to her side. He was pulling her out of the car and she hissed at the surprising sting in her hands.

He looked concerned. Horny, but concerned. "What's wrong?"

"Oh. I guess my hands went numb. My ass is too big."

"Your ass is perfect." His voice brooked no arguments. Alright then.

Their sex life was pretty damn active. They had explored different variations on being fucked and making loving. She was pretty sure tonight was going to be the former. He seemed to prove her assumption correct when he pushed her against the front door the second she crossed the threshold, simultaneously closing said door and trapping her body against it. Oh, yes. Please.

She expected him to kiss her. Maybe bite her a bit, in this mood. But, like she told his brother, Loki was never boring when it came to sexy funtimes. He immediately dropped to his knees.

_Oh_.

Then he was reaching up and grabbing her panties in his fist. She knew he was about to literally rip them off her, which was normally very ok, but she had just bought this pair.

"Wait! They're new!"

He paused, tilting his head as if he were pondering something.

"I'll buy you another pair."

_Riiiiip_! Well, alright then. That had actually stung a bit, but she really didn't care. He immediately hooked her thigh over his shoulder and, without so much as a by your leave, his tongue was doing all sorts of mind-boggling things to her. Up, down, up, down, swiiiirlll (oh, yes…), up, down, in (fuck!), out, lap, growl (she answered with an inhuman keening sound), up, down, in, out, in, out, lap, in, swirl (thank god he owned the building, the noises she was making belonged on either Animal Planet or something with crime reenactments – she did feel like she might be dying), out, swirl, up, down, nip (fuck, _teeth_, fuck), lap, swirl (she wasn't gonna last…), nip, in, swirl, out, lap, up, down, swirl, nip (she was…she was…uhnnn), swirl, _suck_.

She came like a pornstar without the faking.

"FUCK! LOKI! Oh fuck…god. Loki..."

After an hour (ok, maybe slightly less, but she couldn't honestly tell), she slumped against the door, spent and breathless. Her eyes were glazed over and her knees were beyond jelly – his firm grip on her waist and thigh were the only things keeping her upright. He pulled back, wiping his mouth on the sleeve closest to it. He was panting too (which disproved her theory that he was some sort of god who didn't actually require breathing – she didn't remember any breathing). Damn, he was sexy when he panted.

She had to use every ounce of her remaining faculties to focus on what he was saying.

"Now, Darcy. You are never – and I mean _never_ – to doubt that I am the unworthy one in this relationship. You are a goddess. I am on my knees to worship you. You deserve to be worshipped and I am both humbled and blessed to be the lucky bastard who gets to do so. Do you understand?"

She nodded, unable to speak. And really, what does one say to _that_? Regardless, he seemed pleased.

"Good. Now that we've settled that, I'm going to show you just how grateful I am for everything you said today. Besides, should the world end tomorrow, I need to make sure you have a good memory to masturbate to, sweetheart."

Part of her was mortified that he (and therefore his parents) _had_ overheard that little part of her speech, but the rest of her was so far gone that he could have pulled out fuzzy handcuffs and a paddle, and she wouldn't have even blinked.

His voice softened, "I'm sorry I doubted you. When I saw you with Thor, I thought…well. I shouldn't have doubted you. I just have trouble believing that I could ever be this lucky."

Oh Loki…she wanted to hold him but her body still wasn't cooperating.

He continued, "Also, though I'm sure I'm going to yell it to you at some point in the next few hours, I love you. I love you, Darcy. You're it for me."

She was still panting and disoriented, but she found the right answer to that.

"Forever." She had to pause to catch her breath. "I'll love you forever, Loki."

He stood up, keeping his grip on her so she didn't topple over.

"Forever doesn't seem quite long enough, sweetheart. We'd better get started."

The rest of the night passed in a sometimes tender, sometimes savage jumble of skin and sweat and sensation interlaced with sometimes screamed, sometimes whispered (but always heartfelt) declarations of love. And trust. And forever.


	19. Chapter 19

Loki was a man who appreciated routine. He liked having a very clear schedule for what each of his days was going to entail. Then Hurricane Darcy blew into his world and he learned to appreciate life's little spontaneities. Still, when he looked up and saw his brother standing in the doorway to his office, he simply couldn't find an upside to this unexpected turn of events.

The last time Loki had seen Thor had been a few weeks ago at his parents' for dinner. Despite the epic putdown by Darcy at his birthday party the week prior, Thor had been acting just a little too friendly to Darcy for Loki's comfort. So, when Loki caught him alone, he had reached a point where he just couldn't take it anymore. He'd yelled at him – finally calling him out on Sif and Jane and being such a fucking bastard when it came to the women he cared about. And he told him, in no uncertain terms, to stay the fuck away from Darcy or he'd kill him - and even though he loved his brother, he meant it. He practically hurdled over the line he never thought he'd cross with Thor. Then he walked away from him and that was the last they'd spoken. So having Thor show up like this really threw him.

"Thor! What are you doing here? Is mother alright? Father?"

Oh god, some form of family disaster had happened. That was the only explanation Loki could conceive of for having Thor show up at his office – an unprecedented occurrence.

Thor's booming laugh dispelled Loki's tension.

"Ease up, little brother. Our parents are fine."

That was good. But now Loki really had no idea why Thor was there.

Before Loki could question him again, Thor asked, "Are you free? I thought we'd grab a drink."

Loki blinked. "What? You mean _now_?"

"Of course."

Loki internally sighed - only Thor would show up at someone's office out of the blue and expect that person to drop everything for him. Loki looked at the clock – and only Thor would expect him to go for a drink at 11:15 on a Wednesday morning.

Resigned, Loki replied, "I suppose. But I have to teach this afternoon, so coffee would be the better option."

"Better, perhaps. More fun, certainly not. Live a little, brother. I thought that feisty girl of yours had removed the stick up your ass."

Since Loki liked routine, he supposed he should find some sort of comfort in Thor's predictability. Instead he was just tired.

"Coffee or nothing, Thor. I don't work for our parents, so I have a bit less leeway than you do with liquid lunches."

Thor shook his head as if he'd said something ridiculous.

"Fine. Coffee. But if I can't have a drink, then I'm not waiting around here any longer. I tried to be nice and gave a little wink to the woman at the front desk and she gave me a look that nearly froze my damn balls off. I'm seriously concerned that I'm losing my touch. First your little girl and now that old crone. Tell me honestly, brother – if you were a woman, would you sleep with me?"

The earnestness in Thor's voice made Loki feel equal parts depressed and amused. How were they related? No, really – _how_?

"Depends on how much liquor I'd had and how low my self-esteem was that day."

Thor looked distressed.

Loki's patience was wearing thin, "If you came here just to make me tell you how pretty you are, I'm going to have to ask for a rain check."

Thor's face cleared a bit, "No, we need to talk. Please."

The 'please' gave Loki pause. He couldn't remember the last time Thor had ever used the word. Especially not to _him_.

Loki sighed, "Fine, let's go."

The elevator ride to the first floor was an exercise in awkward silences. It wasn't until they were outside and walking in the direction of the coffeehouse that Loki finally broke.

"What exactly was it that you wanted to talk about?"

Thor looked uncomfortable, "Let's wait until we're sitting down."

Oh god, _that_ wasn't foreboding at all. What the hell could Thor have to say to him that required him to be sitting first?

They continued the walk in silence, Loki's dread making him impatient. They finally arrived at the coffeehouse and purchased beverages: black coffee with a little sugar - the only thing the brothers seemed to have in common.

Seated, Loki finally snapped, "What the hell do you need to tell me? Are you alright?"

Worst case scenarios had flooded Loki's mind – Thor had some sort of incurable disease and needed one of his kidneys, or he had killed a man and needed help hiding the body, or – scariest of all - he'd knocked up one of his many conquests and was about to become a father.

Thor opened his mouth to speak and Loki braced himself for tragedy, but no words came. Instead, Thor shook his head and reached into his pocket. His hand came out with a small black box. He placed it on the table in front of Loki.

Loki stared at the box as if it were an alien object. It was a ring box. Thor was giving him a ring box? What the fuck?

Loki picked it up hesitantly and cracked it open. As expected, there was a ring inside. An engagement ring. A very special engagement ring that Loki recognized immediately.

He looked up at his brother, "Thor, I'm flattered. But you're not really my type. Even if you are exceedingly pretty for a man."

"Shut your face, little brother. As if I would bind myself to your skinny, dull ass if I had any say in the matter. You know what it is."

"Yes, of course. It's grandmother's engagement ring. And mother's. And presumably your future ex-wife's, whoever the lucky girl might be."

Thor gave a wry smile, "Yes, well. I have no plan for wedding bells anytime in the near future. Or the distant future. I'm quite pleased with the way my life is at the moment. You, however? Different story."

Loki had understood what was happening the moment Thor pulled the box out, but he wanted to hear Thor's reasoning. Even though he knew his father had given Thor this ring years ago because he was the eldest son, this was about more than bucking Odinson tradition.

"You think I'm going to propose to Darcy? We've been together for little over a month. No one except celebrities race to the aisle that fast."

Thor smirked at him, seeming comfortable for the first time that day, "Bullshit."

Loki just raised his eyebrow.

"You heard me. I've seen you with women. And I've seen women with you. Darcy's different."

Loki grin was sharp, "Why? Because she turned you down?"

"No, little brother. Because even if she didn't, you would have fought for her. You _did_ fight for her."

For once, Loki was rendered speechless by Thor.

"Tell me, brother. When Jane…when you split up, did you ever look back? You were with the woman for over a year. You put a ring on her finger. But did you even once try to fight for her? To forgive her? To win her back?"

It threw Loki to actually hear Thor talking about Jane. She had been a taboo topic in the Odinson family since the break-up.

"Darcy's good for you. If you believe Mom, she's good for all of us. You're always so damn disconnected – you live in your head and no one can ever tell what the hell you're really thinking. Darcy made you wake up." Thor started laughing, "You actually threatened to _kill_ me!"

Loki found his voice, "Well, I still can. Are you going to stop talking to her breasts instead of her face?"

Thor smirked, "Probably not. But it won't matter. She's yours. Completely. I think everyone knows just how much she's yours. I'm proud of you, little brother. It seems I didn't get all of the skill in the bedroom."

Loki wanted to take a page from Darcy's book and actually pinch himself. This was by far the most surreal conversation he'd ever had. A few days ago, he'd been telling Thor to go fuck himself, and now they were laughing over their prowess?

Loki felt the need to make something clear, "I don't forgive you yet. I might never forgive you."

Thor's face lost some of its humor. "I know. You probably shouldn't. But we all have our issues. You still love me. That's enough, for now."

Thor chugged the rest of his coffee and stood up quickly.

"Are we all good here, little brother?"

Loki tried not to show how rattled he was by this entire meeting. He thought the question over.

"All good, no. But we're getting there."

Thor smiled at him and Loki returned it without thought or malice. Thor had wronged him in immeasurable ways, but they were brothers - forgiveness went with the territory. It simply needed to be earned. Thor had just taken the first step in doing so.

"Good. I'll see you later." Thor started to walk away, but Loki's voice calling his name halted him. He turned back around.

Loki had to consciously unclench his jaw to get the words out, "Thank you, brother."

Thor nodded and grinned at him in a way he hadn't since they were children.

"You're welcome." With a wink, Thor turned and walked away.

Loki looked down at the box in his hand – proof that the last half hour had actually happened. His brother thought he should propose to Darcy? That should be reason enough _not_ to. He cracked the box open again.

It was an unusual ring – antique, but beautiful. The band had a vaguely Celtic appearance and the center diamond was surrounded by smaller diamonds in a sort of flowered pattern. The more he looked down at the ring, the more relaxed he became. It was stunning and unique, like the woman he was going to give it to someday. He _would_ marry Darcy - he'd known since the first time she practically screamed an apology in his face for falling in love with him.

But it didn't have to be anytime soon. She wasn't going anywhere. He certainly wasn't going anywhere. She was twenty-two and they had been together for such a short period of time. Not to mention the fact that he'd certainly learned his lesson about jumping the gun when it came to marriage proposals.

He looked back down at the ring, imagining the way it would look on her finger. There was no need to hurry.

Still – Darcy Odinson. He liked the sound of that.


	20. Chapter 20

This was the stupidest thing she'd ever done. Even as she looked at herself in the mirror, she still couldn't believe she was actually doing this.

She was wearing a ridiculously short plaid skirt – she decided on Slytherin green over Gryffindor red – and a very tight, white button up shirt that was sheer enough to clearly display her demure white bra. She debated on sexy garters, but thought that if she was going to do this then she was going all out, so she went with white knee socks. Hair up in a ponytail. No make-up except for bubblegum flavored chapstick. Glasses on. Old school backpack.

It had taken her a long time to decide on appropriate footwear. Sexybitch pumps? FMBs? No, she was going for authenticity. She dug around until she pulled out a painfully boring pair of black Mary Janes. Perfect.

She wished she owned a long back trenchcoat. Wasn't that what people wore when they were doing things like this, so they could do the whole 'reveal' thing all sexy-like? Whatever. Her raincoat was the only thing she had long enough to hide what a freak she was – so that was gonna have to work.

She looked at herself in the mirror again. She couldn't believe she was actually going to do this. Roleplay was definitely not something she'd ever tried before.

But for Loki?

She just hoped he appreciated this little foray outside her comfort zone.

Just as she was buttoning up her coat, music started to blare from her bag. Damn, did her mom have some sort of built in radar for really inconvenient times to call? Still, she hadn't spoken to her in over a week, so she answered.

"Hi, mom."

Her mom's voice was perky, "Hi, baby! How's Loki?"

Darcy almost laughed. The second she had found out that Darcy was living with – and subsequently dating – a handsome, wealthy professor, Darcy had been nudged down the totem pole. Every time her mom called, the first thing out of her mouth was about Loki. Darcy was dreading the day that they actually met each other. Not that she was embarrassed of her mother (ok, maybe a little…or, well, a _lot_). But she supposed that if she could deal with Thor and his douchebaggery, Loki could deal with her mom pinching his ass. Because she _would_ pinch his ass. Darcy just fucking knew it.

"He's good. He's working late tonight. I was just on my way to go meet him." She didn't add the part where she was dressed like a naughty schoolgirl and expecting to get a good spanking. Although, her mom would definitely approve. Especially if they didn't use birth control. She still hadn't given up on the grandbabies campaign, even if she became less vocal about it since she moved in with Loki.

"That sounds nice. Do you have any news you need to tell me?"

Darcy sighed, "No, ma. I haven't gotten knocked up or engaged since the last time we spoke."

"Hmm…alright then. Just checking. You'll let me know though, right?"

Darcy wasn't in the mood for this. She was nervous and excited and second guessing her lack of pigtails. Should she have gone with pigtails?

"You'll be the first person I tell."

"Are you alright, baby? You sound stressed. You didn't have a fight with Loki, did you?"

She must be projecting like a madwoman if her _mother_ picked up on her nerves.

"No, ma. Just…excited to go see Loki." Damn, that sounded lame even to her.

"Oh. Well then I won't keep you."

Her mother never let her off the phone this fast. Miracles _do_ happen, thought Darcy.

"Great, I'll talk to you later, ma." She pulled the phone away from her ear, but heard her mother's voice yell "Wait!" before she could disconnect. Damn, she should have known she wouldn't be so lucky. If she hung up, her mother would just call back. She put the phone back up to her ear.

"Yeah, ma."

"I just wanted to make sure that you're ok. I mean, he makes you happy, right?"

Confused, Darcy answered, "Loki? Of course."

"Are you sure, baby?"

Darcy tried to think it over, but it was a no-brainer. "Yeah, ma. Loki makes me happy. He makes me…perfect."

"You love him?"

Her response was instantaneous, "Completely."

She wouldn't wear an outfit like this for anyone but Loki, so yeah she loved him. He was it for her.

"Good. You deserve that, baby."

This conversation was getting too heavy for Darcy.

"Are _you_ alright, ma?"

"I'm aces, baby. Just wanted to make sure my little girl was smiling. But you told me all I need to know. I'm gonna have to meet this young man of yours. Hopefully before the wedding."

"Wedding?"

"You're gonna marry that boy. Trust me. My psychic said that there would be a wedding in the near future."

Darcy wanted to groan, "Your _psychic_? Mom, please tell me you didn't waste good money on a 1-800 number!"

"Of course not! I go right to Madame Karen's house. She does tarot card readings from her living room. Absolutely brilliant."

Madame _Karen_? Darcy wanted to smack her head against a wall. This was not the conversation she wanted to have right now. Loki was waiting for her and if she didn't leave now, she might miss him. How humiliating would that be?

"If it's in _your_ future, maybe it's _your_ wedding, ma." That would make wedding number four for her.

"Nope. She said I wasn't the one wearing white."

Darcy tried to ignore her mother's words because they were, you know, completely fucking crazy. Still, an evil little part of her could see herself wearing a white dress (ironically, because she was anything but pure these days). And Loki would be waiting for her. Hmm. She found she kinda liked that picture.

But now was not the time to turn into one of _those_ girls – the kind who would doodle Mrs. Darcy Odinson in her Lisa Frank notebook. She was dressed like a naughty schoolgirl, for fuck's sake.

"Well, if he pops the question, I'll visit Karen myself. But I really have to go, ma. Loki is waiting."

"Alright, baby. Don't keep that boy waiting. I just love you. So, so much. I'm so happy you're happy, baby. You call me the minute you have any news."

For some reason, tears started to well up in Darcy's eyes and she wanted to smack herself for getting so stupidly sentimental. Her mom was a trial, but she really did love her.

"Love you too, ma. Bye."

"Bye, baby."

Darcy stared at the phone for a few moments. She couldn't let unanticipated sentimentality from her mother spoil her night of kinky debauchery. Game face on, Darcy!

She took a cab to campus, not wanting to draw any more attention to herself than absolutely necessary. She didn't stop to make small talk with the guard as she practically sprinted to the elevator. Thankfully, the hallway was deserted when she reached Loki's floor. She wouldn't be able to go through with it knowing that there would be too many potential eavesdroppers. She hurried to his office and then took a deep breath to gather her courage before she opened his door.

"Excuse me, Professor. Do you have a minute?"

Loki looked up startled, then a smile slid across his face. If the raincoat and backpack confused him, he didn't show it.

"Darcy! It's late. What are you doing here, sweetheart?" He started to get up but she held out her hand to stop him. He froze, sitting back down in his seat and looking concerned.

Dropping her bag to the floor, she shut the door behind her and flipped the lock. The she unbuttoned her raincoat, throwing it over the chair next to her. She turned back around. Loki's face was priceless.

"Sorry to bother you, Professor. I hope you don't mind, but I wanted to talk to you about my grade."

Loki's dazed expression traveled every inch of her body. "Sweetheart, what are you doing?"

"I don't think it's very appropriate for you to call me sweetheart, Professor. I'm just here to go over the exam I took." She bent down to reach into her backpack, giving him what she knew had to be a clear view of her white cotton panties. She pulled out a piece of paper with a big "F" written on it in red marker. She handed it over to Loki, who took it with more than a little confusion.

He looked at the paper in his hands and she watched as he read the first few lines: "If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes. Are you an alpha carbon, because you look susceptible to backside attack?" His expression clearly said, 'What the hell?'

"Are these supposed to be pick-up lines?"

She smiled, "Google." Then she forced her face to clear and added, "Professor."

He let out a pained laugh, dropping his head into his hands. He looked up at her, "Darcy…are you really sure you want to do this?"

"Of course, sir! I can't have an "F" on my transcripts. Isn't there any way I could improve my grade?"

He ran his fingers through his hair and then threw a brief look at the clock. This wasn't gonna work if he didn't play along.

"Professor?"

She heard him whisper something along the lines of, "Fuck me" as he looked her over again. She could see the moment he decided to just go with it – a very, very naughty smile slid onto his face. Yes! Finally.

"Well, Miss Lewis, I was very disappointed in your work. I know that a young woman of your skill is capable of much more. While I can't let you retake the exam, I suppose I could allow you to earn some extra credit." His tongue came out to wet his bottom lip and she felt her toes curl. "But I should warn you that this particular assignment will be very long and hard. You'll really have to work for it."

Trying not to show how embarrassingly excited this was making her, she replied, "I like working with long, hard things. Professor. Just tell me what to do."

He stood up, walking around the desk to her side. Instead of touching her, he kept walking and grabbed a book off the shelf to his left. He threw the book on the desk.

"Open to page 1, Miss Lewis."

Confused with where he was going with this, she obeyed. He reached out to her and she tensed, but he only pulled off her glasses.

"Read it to me."

What? She was getting even more confused. There was decidedly less spanking happening than she'd anticipated. She went to pick up the book so she could see the words, but he stopped her.

"No. The book stays on the desk. Read it to me."

Without her glasses, how the hell was she…oh. She bent over the desk, putting her face close enough to read the words. She could feel Loki behind her. She had no idea what he was planning to do back there, so she braced her arms on the desk just in case.

As she started to read, Loki's foot was suddenly between her own and he gave a little kick, forcing her leg to slide outwards. Then she felt the material on her skirt getting pulled upward until it rested against her lower back. She could only imagine the picture she must make: bent over the desk, legs spread, arms braced, panties on display…reading a chemistry book.

She kept reading, forcing her heart rate to stay calm. Then she felt his finger dip into the waistband of her panties. She stuttered.

His voice was a whisper in her ear, "Keep reading, Miss Lewis."

As soon as she complied, she felt her panties being pulled down slowly. Down, down, until they hit her knees and couldn't go any further with her legs spread. His hands slid back up the path her panties had just traveled.

When his fingers started teasing her, she moaned.

Another whisper in her ear, "I said _keep reading_, Miss Lewis."

"Sorry, Professor." The words were starting to get blurry on the page and when he slid two fingers inside of her, they went out of focus altogether. His hand froze.

His voice was firmer, "Keep. Reading."

She struggled to comply. It got harder and harder to continue the more he touched her.

Suddenly, his fingers were gone and she wanted to cry. Put them back, dammit!

But it wasn't his fingers this time. He'd replaced them with something bigger and harder. Fuck!

His voice was tense, "Read, Miss Lewis."

She tried – honestly she did – but the words wouldn't come into focus.

He moved in her slowly – so slowly it was almost cruel.

"Please, Loki. Faster!" Shame had long since flown the coop for her.

She could hear the smirk in his voice, "No, Miss Lewis. I told you that you would have to work for it. And it's _Professor_ to you."

Bastard.

"I don't hear you reading."

She wanted to hit him and kiss him and die, "I can't! Please. Please, Professor." Her voice was desperate. He seemed to pick up on the fact that he was skirting the line between kinky and cruel, because she heard him whisper in her ear.

"Sorry, sweetheart. Grab onto the desk."

She scrambled to find purchase on the slick wood with her even slicker palms. Then he let loose. His arm looped beneath her stomach, pulling her up on her toes as he gave her the 'faster' she'd begged him for. After a minute of frantic, but somewhat awkward grinding, he pulled out of her.

What? Why? Come back!

But then he was spinning her around and throwing her up on the desk, reaching down to pull her panties completely off. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he entered her. Oh, much better. Not only was the height difference less of an issue this way, but she could see his face.

Then he was moving faster and faster, harder, deeper. All she could do was hold on and try not to black out. Pressure and pleasure built up until she tensed. Then she was screaming incoherent combinations of Loki's name and obscenities. He followed after, with a deeper-toned variation on the same babble.

Panting and sweaty, he collapsed forward until his face was buried in her neck. After a minute of post-euphoric silence, Darcy opened her eyes and couldn't help the giggle that bubbled up from her throat. Loki's pants were around his knees, but he was still dressed from the waist up. The only thing she was missing were her panties. The two of them looked ridiculous. Her giggles turned into laughter.

Loki's voice was breathless but amused, "What's so funny, sweetheart?"

She had trouble getting the words out over her laughter, "Us. We're _freaks_."

She could feel Loki's chuckle run through her entire frame.

"Perhaps, but I'm not the one who started this."

"No, but you definitely played along. What the hell was I reading, anyway?"

He huffed a laugh, "I have no fucking clue."

"Freak."

"Yes. Apparently. But at least we're freaks together. In fact…"

"Mmm?"

"In the interest of convenience, I think our house could use a desk like this. Sturdy."

She raised her eyebrow at him, an amused smile playing about her lips. "You think we should play this little game again?"

"Of course. But next time, _you_ can be the teacher."

See, she knew there was a reason why she loved this man.

* * *

><p>ShadowWriter77: This was one hell of a deadline for me, but I did it! Happy Halloween!<p> 


	21. Chapter 21

Loki's head was pounding. He had felt a migraine coming on a few hours ago, so he'd begged two painkillers off of a colleague. The bastard must have given him tic tacs instead because they'd done slightly less than fuck-all for his head.

And he'd been planning to take Darcy out to see that new stylized film noir she'd been talking about. Damn. He shot her a text message earlier saying they'd have to reschedule date night because he needed a quiet, dark room and a long nap. She'd instantly texted back that she was both concerned and willing to play doctor with him later. His girl was perfect like that.

Trudging up the steps into his building, he wanted to cry from the sheer relief of finally being home. As he let himself in, he was disappointed but unsurprised to note that the lights were off. He knew he'd beat Darcy home, but he was still hoping she'd be there – her presence alone always made him feel better.

He dropped everything he was holding onto the floor and headed straight to the bathroom – aspirin. He threw the pills in his mouth and then leaned over and washed them down with water right from the tap. Uncivilized, but necessary. Then he headed to the bedroom, dropping clothes as he walked. He could deal with everything later. Stripped to his boxers, he flipped off the light and slid into bed. Ahh. Finally. He prayed for sleep to come quickly and offer relief.

No such luck.

He was still tossing and turning, the aspirin just starting to kick in but not enough to allow him to finally drop off. In the silence, he heard the door to the bedroom open slowly. Darcy. She didn't say anything as she peeked into the room, so he let her know he was still awake.

"Hello, sweetheart."

Her outline in the doorway jumped a bit, obviously not expecting his voice to come out of the darkness.

Softly, "Hey, honey. How are you feeling?"

His voice was fatigued, "A little better, but not great. I just need some sleep, but that doesn't seem to be in the cards for me."

He couldn't see her face clearly as she stood silhouetted by the hallway light, but he could feel her frown. She stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. With the light gone, the blackness descended again. His eyes adjusted much more quickly this time. He watched as she slipped out of her work clothes and then removed her bra. He hoped she wasn't feeling too amorous tonight because he'd hate to tell her that he wasn't in the mood because he had a headache. How fucking cliché would _that_ be? Although if she actually propositioned him, he would probably rally – even if he were half-dead, he couldn't imagine turning her down. He was addicted to her. It wasn't a particularly _bad_ thing. There were far worse obsessions.

He kept watching as she walked slowly towards the bed, feeling for it when she got close – her eyes still not quite adjusted to the darkness. Then she slid in behind him, pressing a kiss to the nape of his neck and wrapping her arms around his chest. Being the inner spoon was an unusual position for Loki, so he turned over to face her. He couldn't help thinking that even in almost total darkness, she was still so damn beautiful.

"Come here," she whispered as she wrapped her hand around the back of his neck, gently pulling down until his head was pillowed on her chest. She slid her arms around his shoulders, running a hand through his hair. He allowed himself to be pulled and held, wrapping his own arm around her stomach.

Damn, this was nice. She was warm and soft and smelled good - infinitely better than a pillow in every way.

Then she started humming softly and he could feel it vibrate in her chest more than he could actually hear it. The sensation was oddly soothing, like the bodily equivalent of white noise. Her hand continued its gentle path through his hair. He tilted his head sideways and placed an absent kiss on the closest inch of her flesh before putting his head back down and closing his eyes.

Time passed, the pain eased, contentment filled him, and he finally (finally!) drifted off.

He awakened to an odd rumbling. Disoriented, he assessed his surroundings. It was still dark and he was still pillowed on Darcy's chest, but the pain was gone. Looking upwards, he realized that Darcy was already awake. Her face was chagrined.

"Sorry, sugar."

Not quite functional yet, he couldn't figure out why she was apologizing. Then it hit him.

"Was that your stomach?"

Her face turned pink and he held back a laugh.

"Hey, I haven't eaten in forever!"

He wanted to laugh at the indignant kitten expression on her face, but her words made him look at the clock. It was almost morning. Damn.

"Fuck, sweetheart. I'm the one who's sorry. Have I trapped you here all night?"

She smiled, "I trapped myself here. Are you feeling better?"

"Infinitely. Though I'm a bit more than hungry myself. Let me make breakfast to repay you for the comfort last night. You were an angel. You skipped dinner for me, didn't you?"

"Well, I had more important things on my mind." Her smile was audible, "And more attractive things on my boobs."

He smiled and pressed a kiss to the curve of said breast, then started to rise. The second he lifted his head, she rolled off the bed and scrambled to her feet.

Watching her haste, he asked playfully, "Where's the fire?"

The look she threw him made him bite his tongue. "Dude, I've had to pee for _hours_."

Without stopping to put on a shirt, she bolted to the bathroom. Loki just stared after her with a bemused smile. What a sweet, silly girl.

As he headed down to the kitchen, he noticed that his clothes were no longer strewn about like a trail of wearable breadcrumbs. Darcy must have picked them up for him. The thought filled him with an odd happiness – she wasn't particularly neat, so tidying up after him wasn't instinctual for her. She had forgone dinner to come home, clean his mess, strip down, and then cuddle his whiney ass (yes, cuddle…he was man enough to admit it). He would have to reward her for all that.

He flipped the coffee pot on and then turned to the cabinets. Humming to himself, he pulled out the ingredients to make pancakes. Homemade pancakes would be a nice little reward. Well, alright, it was one of those little detergent bottles full of pancake powder and all he had to do was add water and shake. Still…it was the thought that counted.

He followed the directions and was in the process of flipping the first batch over when Darcy wandered into the kitchen. She still hadn't put on a shirt, which was a truly nice surprise for him – Darcy topless was a true thing of beauty. He watched as she poured the coffee into two mugs and then set the table, putting the syrup and butter right next to her plate. Her actions would be sweetly domestic if she weren't half-naked. As she _was_ half-naked, it was just painfully arousing. Fuck, she was like a sexy Martha Stewart. _That_ was a thought he never imagined having.

He was so busy ogling, he almost burnt the pancakes. He quickly turned back to the stove and focused on flipping.

Her voice was amused, "Well, this is a sight I could get used to."

He turned his head to meet her gaze, but found that she was too busy checking out his ass. Well, now he didn't feel so bad about gawking at her before. It was somewhat comforting to know that their attraction was so very mutual.

He smirked, "Really? Is it my general state of undress or the fact that I'm cooking?"

"Separately, they're both pretty nice. But it's a deadly combination. This naked breakfast thing should be a new tradition around here. Every day should be Naked Breakfast Day!"

"Hmm...tempting. But, how about every Saturday?"

She pouted, "Once a week. Seriously? _Why_?"

"Well, seeing you naked every morning is going to severely and negatively impact my punctuality for work – kitchen sex takes quite a bit of time for the cleanup. And if we had Naked Breakfast every single day, we wouldn't appreciate it as much. It'll make for a perfect Saturday."

She shook her head at him, "You know you're thinking too hard for this time of the morning. The sun isn't even up yet!"

He looked her over again, "I just like to savor the good things in my life. And that takes time."

All this talk of appreciating the good things and taking your time made Loki think about the trajectory his relationship with Darcy had taken. They had been acquaintances, then friends, then roommates, then lovers, then…this. Perfection. It was like creating a chemical compound from two unstable components. In order for it to have worked out so well was dependent on the timing. If he'd found Darcy earlier – or moved faster – he might not have appreciated her the way she deserved. The slow building of tension, learning all the secrets, accepting all the flaws, appreciating all the little quirks – together it created the perfect foundation upon which to build their future. While they'd rushed the physical aspect of their relationship, it didn't really matter as the emotional had already been in place. They'd fallen slowly and completely. Sometimes the great things took time. Sometimes you needed to wait.

He wanted to explain this little revelation to Darcy, but he would feel damn stupid telling her that their relationship was his perfect Saturday.

Instead, he added, "And technically, neither of us is truly naked."

He watched as she looked down at his ass again with a naughty smile. Why she was so amused by the fact that he wore boxer-briefs still puzzled him. Briefs were too snug, boxers were too loose – but boxer-briefs were just right. Fuck, he sounded like the Goldilocks of underwear.

Speaking of underwear, he'd gotten a good look at the ones she had on before she sat down. Little and purple, with a dinosaur playing guitar on the front and the word 'Rockasaurus' written on her ass in sparkly purple glitter. Why he found that sexy and not disturbingly juvenile was another puzzle. He supposed he could let her own appreciation of his unusual underwear choices slide, if she could do the same for him.

Pancakes done, he put the giant plate of them down in the middle of the table. He watched as she put one pancake down, buttered it and then put another pancake on top. After stacking an ungodly number in this fashion, she smothered it all in syrup and smiled like she'd won the damn lottery. Then she descended upon her meal like a ravenous animal. He found the whole process oddly endearing.

In a more civilized manner, Loki made his own plate and started eating. The meal passed in silence, except for the happy noises she made after a particularly delicious bite. He watched as she licked syrup from her lips. Damn. He had to be strong. Then she slowly licked syrup off her finger.

It was official: he was a pervert. He couldn't even watch her eat breakfast without getting hard. He wanted to hang his head in shame, but that would involve taking his eyes off her.

Suddenly, she spoke, startling him out of his haze of inappropriate arousal, "You're really feeling better?"

"Oh. Yes. Thank you. I get migraines occasionally. I used to get them more often when I was younger, but it got better. Now I only have them very rarely."

"That sucks. My Aunt Patty gets wicked migraines. I'm glad you don't get them too often. Although you did get amusingly snuggly last night. That was fun."

Snuggly? Cuddly was one thing, but _snuggly_? That killed the arousal pretty quick. Besides, nobody wants to be ravished by someone they just called snuggly.

And he was an ungrateful asshole apparently, "I never said thank you for last night, did I? I'm sorry, sweetheart. Thank you so much for taking care of me."

She looked surprised, but then her lips curled upward, "Dude, please. You take care of me in more ways than I can count."

He just raised his eyebrow.

"But you're welcome. Anytime, Snuggles."

He wanted to sigh. That was one of the more depressing nicknames she'd given him. He much preferred the ones that made him sound, you know, manly.

He finished eating before her – it truly was amazing how much food she could put into such a small body – and watched as she lifted the last bite to her lips. She held it there, looking at it with a wistful smile.

"Darcy, what are you doing?"

"Savoring the good things, like you said I should. Once I eat it, all my yummy pancakes will be gone."

He could only shake his head. Suddenly, a big drop of syrup dripped off the pancake and landed on the top of her breast. He watched, mesmerized, as it oozed its way down toward her nipple. She absently licked her finger and then ran it from the bottom of the syrup trail to the top. She put her finger back in her mouth, making a slight sucking noise followed by a deep 'mmm' that he felt in his very bones. That was it. Snuggly or not, game fucking on.

She met his gaze and immediately dropped her fork, seeming not to care that her last precious bite was still attached to the tines. Her eyes widened and she gulped. He could only imagine what she was reading on his face.

Her voice was shaky, "So…I think you're about to show me why we can't do Naked Breakfast on workdays."

He just smirked and then swept his arm out, sending the contents of the table to the floor in a loud clang. He went to reach for her, but she was already climbing on top of the table and crawling toward him. Once she was in his arms, he licked the trail the lucky syrup had traveled, just in case she missed some. Her skin was sweeter than the maple.

Before long, her silly, purple panties were on the floor next to his boxers. Then there was more licking and teasing and grunting and giggling until he collapsed over her, breathless and sticky and smiling. Maple syrup was surprisingly erotic. Naked Breakfast could be the best idea she had ever had.

Her voice was raspy, "Well…I can see why this could make you late. You're very thorough."

He smiled into her neck, "It's all a part of my work ethic. If I'm going to do something, I damn well better do it properly."

She giggled, jostling him, "Job well done, handsome."

Handsome was certainly an improvement over 'Snuggles'. He started to ease off of her.

Her voice startled him, "Don't move!"

He froze, "What?"

She explained, "You'll cut yourself."

He looked down at the floor. It was littered in broken ceramic - remnants of the plates and mugs. Damn. If they were going to have Naked Breakfast every week, he'd have to invest in plastic flatware. He had a feeling his mother would find the plastic tacky, but it was for a damn good cause.

He looked back at Darcy, "Stay here."

Then he eased his foot down in a clear spot, checking for anything sharp before putting weight on it. He slowly made it out to the hallway and grabbed the broom from the closet. He went back into the kitchen, throwing an appreciative glance at the naked girl on the table.

Happy with life, he hummed as he started cleaning up the mess. Darcy's laughter made him look up.

"What's so funny?"

She could barely get words out, "You. Humming. With the broom. Naked." She had to pause to giggle. "It's like the porno version of Cinderella."

He had no response to that. He was pretty sure his mouth was gaping a bit.

She composed herself and looked contrite, "I'm sorry. I know that realistically I'm more the Cinderella here, what with me being a poor, little nobody getting swept off my feet by a ridiculously handsome prince of a guy – but still. You looked so happy sweeping, it was like animated birds were about to pop out of nowhere and help you with the dishes. And you're very naked. Sorry."

Still floundering for words, he managed, "You were never a nobody. But you're so odd sometimes. I never know what you're going to say. And I mean that as a compliment. Although you're lucky you compared me to a girl _after_ I went down on you. I might not have been so generous."

She giggled, "You still would have. And I'm pretty sure you're the odd one here. This was your fault. You get turned on every time I eat – don't think I haven't noticed."

Fuck. She knew? That was embarrassing.

She continued with a sly smile, "Why do you think I make so much noise? Not every bite of food is _that_ orgasmic. But your eyes get all dark and your jaw clenches. Mmm…and your tongue does that thing where you lick the corner of your mouth. I love when you do that."

He never even realized that he did that. He wondered what else he did that only she knew about.

A sad thought occurred to him, "Are you going to stop being so vocal in your culinary appreciation now?"

"Of course not, don't be silly."

Oh, thank god. Although now that he knew part of her was faking it, he'd have to tease her back. Two could play that game.

With the floor finally clean, he walked over to Darcy and helped her down from the table.

She looked up at him through her lashes, "Now that I'm all sticky, I think I need a shower. Which reminds me, I was thinking we should implement a new strategy for saving the environment."

"Hmm?"

"Water conservation."

Confused, he echoed, "Water conservation?"

"Yeah, it's all about going green these days. Think about how much water we could conserve if we showered together?"

Oh.

Now _that_ was an idea he could get behind. She was really on a roll today with the invention of both Naked Breakfast _and_ water conservation.

His voice was deadpan, "I see. I would love to do my part for the environment. We should probably start conserving right now."

A long and glorious hour later, they decided that no actual conservation had happened – in fact, they probably used more water than when they showered separately.

But this way was infinitely more fun.


	22. Chapter 22

Three weeks after the implementation of Naked Breakfast Saturdays, Loki and Darcy sat bickering on the couch. He was in a pizza mood – she wanted Chinese. Again.

"We had Chinese the day before yesterday! How much wonton soup can a person eat?"

"That's a stupid question. There's no limit. Wonton soup is the ambrosia of the gods."

She was completely serious. He seemed to realize this and she watched as his face lost some of its annoyance. He leaned in quickly to kiss her pout before she realized what he was doing. Sneaky bastard. That wouldn't work on her – she wanted wonton soup dammit!

"How about a compromise, sweetheart?"

"Hmm…what kind of compromise?"

"We can have Chinese tomorrow. Tonight, we try the new Mexican place."

She thought this over. Mexican actually sounded pretty good. Quesadilla…cheese…mmm. And Chinese tomorrow was still a victory for her. Kinda. But, she pretended to think it over anyway.

"I suppose that would be alright. But only because you look so pathetic right now."

"How generous of you." The sarcasm in his voice made her smile.

"I know. I'll go get the menu."

She went to give him a quick peck, but caught the look on his face and froze. He was smiling like _he'd_ won. Wait a minute...

"You never wanted pizza, did you? You wanted Mexican all along."

He just smiled and shrugged. _Damn_ sneaky bastard. Whatever. She kissed his little victory smile before jumping up and hurrying towards the kitchen. They kept all of their take-out menus in a folder on top of the fridge. As she hastily reached up for the folder, her socks slid on the hardwood floor and she lurched, bouncing off the fridge door with an astounding lack of grace.

Loki's sardonic voice sounded out from the doorway behind her, "Well done, sweetheart."

"Thanks," she muttered dryly. A random thought occurred to her and she voiced it without thinking, "You know our kids are gonna be sarcastic little fuckers."

"Marry me."

Stunned, she turned to look at Loki so fast she nearly gave herself whiplash. "_What_?"

Loki was staring at her like he couldn't believe what had just come out of his mouth. She couldn't believe it either.

"I…fuck, I just…," he wasn't able to form the words.

Darcy's voice was calm, but it was mostly due to shock, "Loki, did you just _propose_?"

"I guess. I mean, yes. Fuck, I wasn't going to do this. Seriously, I wasn't. I was going to wait until at least our one year anniversary. Maybe longer. You're young - I'm sure you don't want to get tied down yet. But you're just so beautiful right now. And then you mentioned kids. And it hit me that I just want…everything. I want everything. With you. My god, I'm babbling. I never babble. You babble. I love it when you babble. I just…fuck. Darcy, I love you. This is ridiculous. I should never have opened my bloody mouth. Forget I said anything, ok sweetheart? We'll just move past this. And forget Mexican - let's just get Chinese tonight, alright?"

He didn't seem to notice that Darcy's smile had gotten bigger and bigger as he spoke. By the end of his rant, she was practically beaming at him despite the tears starting to well up in her eyes.

"Yes, Loki."

He blinked, looking confused and flustered. "Yes?"

She just nodded, finding it hard to speak around the lump in her throat.

"Wait…you mean yes as in _yes_?" He seemed shocked. She nodded again, biting down hard on her lip to stop herself from actually crying. She would _not_ be the girl that cried when she got engaged.

Loki crossed over to her quickly and reached for her face, cupping her cheek and tilting her head up so that he could look into her eyes.

"You'll marry me?"

Her voice was a whisper, "Yes."

The smile that broke out on Loki's face lit up the room.

"Darcy! You'll marry me? You'll-" his voice broke off and he wrapped his arms around her, lifting her off her feet and spinning her around. She started laughing. She never knew she could be this happy. Then he was kissing her and she found that she had room to fit even more happiness inside of her. The kiss was sloppy and awkward with them both laughing. And it tasted salty. Damn, she _was_ the girl who cried when she got engaged. She'd have to make Loki promise not to ever mention that part.

He pulled back, "Hold on!"

Then he was running up the stairs and Darcy just watched him, confused but happy. A thought occurred to her. Oh, fuckballs. When she called her mom, she'd have to admit that Madame Karen was right.

All thoughts of eating crow disappeared when Loki came running back downstairs with a little black box in his hand. Wow. He actually _had_ planned to propose. Not now obviously, but eventually. She felt like crying again, but in a very good way.

Then he was on his knee in front of her. She had to raise an eyebrow.

"Seriously?"

He laughed, "My mother would kill me if I didn't do this properly. Just take the damn thing, woman."

She tried to sound sarcastic, "Oh, very proper." She took the box from him and he stood up while she cracked it open.

Wow.

It was amazing. And unusual. And…perfect.

She took the ring out, dropping the box to the floor.

"It's a family tradition. It was my grandmother's engagement ring. Then my mother's. Now it's yours."

She wanted to ask if Loki had proposed to Jane with this ring. She wouldn't _really_ care, but still.

He seemed to read her mind, "You're the only woman since my mother who's held this ring."

Relief flooded her. Ok, so she did care. Whatever.

He took the ring from her, holding it in one hand while his other grabbed her left palm. He placed a kiss on her knuckles before sliding the ring onto her finger. She bit her lip as she stared at the way it looked on her hand. Perfect. It was perfect. Her eyes rose to his.

His voice was soft, "We'll argue. Then one of us will apologize – probably me. Then we'll make love. I can't promise to always make you happy, but I can promise to always try. I'll never stop wanting you. Or loving you. Or needing you. Marry me, Darcy?"

Damn, she was crying again. This was getting ridiculous.

Her smile was embarrassingly watery, "I like arguing with you. I like making love to you even more. Just being around you makes me happy. And I want, love and need you – forever. So, yes. Of course, I'll marry you. But let's not be sexist here."

She slid to her knee, "Marry me, Loki?"

He shook his head, but the smile on his face was joyful and gorgeous. Then he reached down and grabbed her by the arms, pulling her upwards until he could kiss her.

"Yes," he whispered against her lips. He pressed their smiles together.

They knew their future would be unpredictable and weird and wonderful.

But they wouldn't want it any other way.

* * *

><p>AN: The End!

This was just as scary as I'd anticipated, but also way more fun. I have no plans for a sequel, but you never know. However, I do have 3 chapters written for another Loki/Darcy – except it's not AU, so he's a quasi-evil alien god with daddy issues. She's still Darcy though, so that's comforting. I hope.

Lastly, THANK YOU! My loyal reviewers were amazing and kind and so, so, so wonderful. I would get a happy bubble of glee in my heart every time I checked my e-mail and saw 'Review Alert'. So again, thank you! It's been a pleasure. See ya on the flipside.


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